Party

Today was the New Years Eve Eve party that my teammates and I have each year. This is the first year we didn't go to a restaurant to meet up.
On our team there is one young teacher who is not married, but loves our little ones. There is one teacher who has college aged girls. But she has the heebie geebies and couldn't come..

There is one teacher who is the mommy of  "L-G" who is 4 and a doll baby. My girlz adore her and think she sounds like a fairy when she talks. She is darling and  our family treats her like a little cousin!
Then there is one friend who is now teaching 2nd grade..BOOoooo..
We still invite her to everything as she misses the kindergarten so much, and we are all good friends. She has 2 sons, one is 25 months old and one is 6 months old. And those boys are amazing. She raises some smart children. (Both she and her husband are very bright) And she is the one I call a hippie child. She is the most genuine and relaxed kind of momma.

Because we exchange gifts and the kids are old enough to want to play, we decided to have our lil party at my house. There is plenty of room, and that means we can spend time together with our little ones there. I invited hubbies too, as I really love them too.. *OKAY, here is something weird. I used to teach with a music teacher at my old school. Turns out, the hippies husband is the child of that music teacher. God, I am so old.
So today was like a second Christmas. Everyone knows each other so well, that we end up with the coolest gifts. L-G's mom found a cupcake set with nesting dolls on it! And I was tickled to get our young teacher a shiny pink cupcake maker for her new condo!  The kids ran wild and played and messed, and when it was time to go, there were no tears, but even my girlz didn't want the day to end..

These are the times when I know how lucky I am to have a job where there are people who I genuinely care about. Going to work everyday would be impossible if I couldn't meet up with these ladies and talk first about our own kids, then about school stuff! (The mommies that were at the party are not on Facebook or any social media, so I won't publish any pics..Just imagine 3 little girlz, 1 toddler, 1 baby and a bunch of teachers giggling and eating a whole bunch!!)

So as this year winds down, I am really happy to be surrounded by such lovely people. And that includes my family. My mom with her constant help with the girlz, My dad with his positive encouragement and love of my girlz, and of course my crazy-ass sister who genuinely adores my babies..
Our  family Christmas was picture perfect and with everything happening in the adoption world, I am reminded once again that the dear sweet Lord blessed me when he didn't have to. And once again, I sing his praises for doing so.

I don't tend to make resolutions. I never really 'start' my year in January. My year starts in September with the school year. But this year, I would like to make a few plans.
I know I would like to be more proactive in keeping my home clean. We are a reallll hoooottt messs around here. (I have had the place cleaned for the holiday, and it is work, but I have really enjoyed it)
I would also like to keep losing weight, but actually be in charge of the process. Right now, it is just happening, so I am going to get some blood work done to make sure everything is okay, but start walking so that I can tone up..
The last thing I want to focus on, is trying to get into a small group and start going. I miss everyone at New Hope, and I would love to reconnect with them. I also miss the learning involved. I miss that.

"I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma; but perhaps there is a key. That key is Russian national interest."

So what is in the best interest of Russia? I have to say, that I honestly have no clue..I said at the time of my adoptions that the orphanages that I visited were well staffed and although the physical buildings were a hot mess, the babies seemed to get adequate care. Could there have been different ways of caring for the littlest babies, sure. Was it different than the way we do it in the U.S. sure. But what struck me the most, was the amount of bureaucracy involved in orphan care. The amount of people attached to the work of raising orphans. Departments of people dedicated solely to handling those children. It was impressive.

On my trip to finalize AugustRose's adoption, I was at the Moscow airport changing planes. It was bitter and cold, and flurries were falling. We had been in the airport for a couple of hours, so we were HOT. Our bodies were dripping with sweat. When we walked to an exterior hallway to board the bus that would take us to the domestic terminal, my mom, Anna, and I took deep fresh air breaths..The cold air felt great on our sweaty heads..We boarded the bus and were squished between tons of Russians. Immediately they began saying things about Anna not wearing her hat..I could tell. I let it all go, and it kept going. One lady tried to speak to me in her broken English to say that my Anni needed to hat. I grabbed her hat and showed the lady. She began to speak again to try and say it was cold outside..Uhmmm, hello, I knew that. I knew that my baby was sweating. She needed fresh air before we boarded the flight to Novosibirsk..But this lady kept going. And I felt attacked. So I said in a very clear voice.."Don't pretend to care about my daughter. She was here for you to care about when she was a baby, but you and everyone else on this bus ignored her when you had a real chance to care for her."
My mom was so confused. She hadn't really caught the exchange until I raised my voice to tell this woman about herself..I knew that the woman didn't truly understand what I was saying. But for some weird reason, it felt good to say it. Because it wasn't the only time I felt as though I was being frowned upon while in Russia. Once Anna would speak English, the looks of disapproval would change, but only slightly. For some reason, I always felt like Russian's weren't happy to see Americans in their country. I didn't feel that way in Khabarovsk. Ever. It was only in Moscow and Novosibirsk.
In Khabarovsk, the hotel floor ladies practiced their English on me. They were also very worried when it was too cold outside. I would assure them that I wasn't taking the baby out on those days. When they looked at Anna and I, it was as if they were proud grandmas..When we went out in town, no one seemed to care much about us. They are not an outwardly friendly people in general, so I was okay with that..I can be shy at times, so this was A0K with me.. I am not sure that other people understand that history has given the Russian's a general sour nature. When I was in Moscow with the both girlz, my coordinator was so lovely and genuine that I honestly wished we could be friends forever. Her daughter was another adoption related worker, and the 2 Anna's made our time in Moscow so easy that it was hard to believe.

My adoption experiences were just like anything else. Good one minute, horrible the next, hysterical at other minutes..But what colored my experiences the most was the absolute joy I felt from the child I was in Russia to adopt. That is what I focused on, so that is what was most important.

I have to say that part of me does understand Putin. His sour nature brings him to punish America with what matters the most. People.
Every American adoption agency has someone in Russia working on their behalf, and each one of them developed that same sour nature. And each one of them punished Americans a little along the way. And why? Because they knew we would pay any "foreign fee*" asked for just to get our babies home..

I am very confused today. Wondering if it could actually be a good thing to let Putin take care of his own children...Who knows. But for now, I just sit with a WTH look on my face..


*FOREIGN FEE
An amount of money given to the Russian coordinator..NOT given to the orphanage. This fee was usually 15,000. This money could not be traced to anything specific.
Yes, I have paid it twice.

Beyond Blessed

This is what Russian orphans look like once they are home. We are nothing too special, but what we are is a family. I am mortified at the thought that someone else in the USA won't be able to post this kind of "happy kid" picture..Pray for those families who have just had their dream of a family shattered today. I am beyond blessed, and I know it. I hope for peace tonight for those broken hearted families...

Blame is All Around

Who can I blame for this crime against the littlest of souls?

Let's start with OUR government. So why choose Sergie Magnitsky to rally around. Why him? There is a load of money behind what he discovered, and more than likely it falls on our side to have had this guy's information...I mean come on, why didn't we step up when any number of high profile murders have occurred in Russia over the last decade..
So the Sergei Magnitsky Act denies visas to Russian officials involved in the prosecution and death of a Russian lawyer and whistle blower who called attention to alleged official corruption. Really? That is what the Russians are mad about? Unless they fear their entire government is somehow involved, (WHICH THEY ARE) why worry? Their pride and nationalism is really becoming extensive isn't it?
When Anna Politkovskaya was murdered for writing about Chechnya, why didn't we act?
And when the editor of Forbes Magazine, Russia was killed, why didn't move? Why? I will tell you. Because it didn't serve us at all. And why? Because although most people whisper that they know PutiPoot is behind many of these murders, most people aren't brave enough to say it loudly..And in America, we act only when it makes us money..So now, thank you very much to the committee that decided NOW is the time to act..You just stood up to Putipoot, and ya pissed him off. So now, he's going to cut his own nose to spite his face...And that happens by hurting his own orphans and the few families who are willing to pay the enormous fees to adopt them...


BUT,
 if I can't blame our government, I move on to the guy in my very own part of the world who was soo unaffected by the adoption of his child that he put the infant in the car and went to work.. And yes, the child died of heat exposure. The law that is currently in play is called the Magnitsky-retaliation law in response to the case of  Miles Harrison of Purcellville, Va who was aquitted for leaving his poor baby in the car to die..I bet his fat ass didn't forget his breakfast that day. So what you are remorseful. So what you are sorry..Dumbass. So thank you very much for putting America on the map for being bad parents...

But maybe I will throw a little blame to the woman, Torry Ann Hansen, who acted with her own mother to put her adopted child on a plane alone to Moscow. TO RETURN HIM...Yes, there wasn't enough love there, so she sent him back. Thank you very much dumb ass. I would like to add a little giggle that she has to pay 150K for his child support..AS IF ANY ORPHAN in Russia is getting 150K worth of care from birth to 18..I giggle again because she is paying for her mistakes, literally..

I have to throw some blame at the agencies, and "regional coordinators" who have made millions on the backs of people like me..I personally name Aleksandr Smuckler and Aleksandr Melnikov for screwing over so many families that those families refused to do Post Placement Reports..And because of this, adoptions went unchecked for way too long..But guess what? Smukler is living in a FAT HOUSE in Jersey and sent his 3 sons to the best private schools..He is the current president of the NCSJ and has forgotten his horribly unethical ways of strong arming adoptive families..But I haven't forgotten. And because I am a super stealth Internet user, I know as much about him as he USED to know about me..I am not afraid anymore to call him out. He is was a real dick to more families than you can imagine, and this kind of 'tomfoolery' has played a huge role in the Russian government frowning at Americans adopting.. Check him out, his friends call him Sasha..
http://www.ncsj.org/

So on our side of the pond, I blame idiot government decisions, and idiot individuals, and the Russian Mafia right here in the good ole USA..Any adoptive family relies on the success of the families who adopt before us..And there are some real gems out there..
I have to wonder what families are thinking when they adopt children..Are they wanting to create a family or are they just feeding their ego? Sadly, there are a lot of egos on the blogger world..Just look around at all the heroes out there..

Now as for Putipoot, he seems like the spawn of Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney. Yes he is that evil. Throw a little FSB training in there and you have one badass M-Effer. He is willing to level Chechnya in order to gain access to that sweet oil spot. He is willing to put on Mock criminal trials for people such as Russian oil billionaire Mikhail Khodorkovsky just to scare the shit out of the original oligarchs, and to set the tone for any future money makers.."Don't eff with the government, and we won't kill you."

So blame is all around.
And tonight, I am just pissed that somewhere out there, a single woman is terrified that she won't be adopting from Russia. I am pissed that a truly deserving family is going to be without the child they met..I am sad that so many Russian orphans will be in the DetskyDom another night without any hope that a family will come along to adopt them, at least not an American one..
I am pissed at all those HEROES who adopted children they knew they couldn't parent..

So, when someone says to you,"What's the big deal, it's not our country, they are not our orphans." You can tell them, "No they aren't, but it is important to someone I know.."

The Day After..

It all fell into place. Nowhere to go, family in the house, food on the table, toys ALL OVER THE PLACE! Now my finely tuned home looks like a finely tuned Mess..But we let it stay that way.. The girlz loved all of their treats. And I loved not having to stop and go anywhere.


      We didn't go to the Gaylord this year. It just didn't come together and quite honestly, we have gone every year so I wasn't looking forward to seeing the same characters, the same ICE show, and ice skating in the same tiny rink..It is fun, but we have done it enough to know it all by heart.. My dad and sister cooked Christmas Lunch and I got to sit outside with the dogs and the girlz while August tried out her new scooter. It was a total pajama day.

     Our family has really come full circle. After years of struggle to enjoy the events that each of us plans, we have finally found a way to focus on just being together. I have a tendency to over plan events. (Church, Gaylord, Ice Skating, Eve Dinner) And then, have trouble keeping everyone "in the moment" and enjoying those rituals..The girlz love whatever. Honestly. We found a funky version of the YULE LOG on tv and that seemed to make our time around the tree all the more special..

    Now today in the afterglow of Christmas, we are straightening up, going to ToysRUs for yet more Christmas buying, and then heading over to my sister's house for the night. She is having foot surgery and has to be in Maryland at 7 AM, so we are going to stay there to have less of a drive. My dad will stay here and pack up his stuff. He will visit my sis once she is home and then he is heading back to Florida. He has several job opportunities to prepare for..His retirement is the busiest I have ever heard of. He has moved everything from the beach house to his storage, but needs to get it more organized if he is going to be in Lebanon for any length of time.. So I sit here on my bed with our little baby Perrywinkle. She is so tiny, but very smart. She already tinkles on her pee-pee pad, and I am guessing she will be easy to transition to going outside more once she gets a little bigger. (The fact that she is 2 pounds means I am worried to let her out in the weather too much) The girlz have had ear buds in their ears since yesterday. AugustRose LOVES her IpodTouch. And Anna loves her Iphone. I knew they would. Music, videos, and games all within the touch of their little hands..They sit side by side and just giggle at videos they have found. I worried that they may go off on their own, but oddly enough they sit side by side. AugustRose trusts Anna to help her navigate her way around her IpodTouch, and Anna loves being the helper. I took all of 1 picture on Eve and Christmas Day. I just get into the moment and forget. My sister took a few, so I am borrowing hers. We now have tons of videos but with this new blogger format means I have forgotten how to get them up..But I will try.. For now, I leave you with a video of our little girl..

Happy Holiday! 

simple bliss... The girlz stayed at my sister's house last night. (my dad did too) I got all of my last minute details finished up and the house cleaned. Yeah! This morning, I went to get the puppy. And Oh My Lord...She is 2 pounds. YES, 2 pounds. Her coat/jacket is way too big, but an extra small. Her pajamas fit thank goodness. My house tends to be drafty, so we keep them in it all the time. I presented the puppy by: bringing her down in our Bitty Baby crib, and I told the girlz I wanted to get rid of the crib. The girlz both said, "Nooo, let's keep it." Then I just put the crib down. The puppy is so small that they didn't notice her at first. Then they both noticed her and Anna burst into tears. (As I predicted, and told my mom ahead of time.) And I have heard a million times, that how happy the girlz are for their Christmas puppy. Her name is: Perrywinkle Mistletoe Green.................... Perry for short! Hope you all are having a great Eve. We are in our jammies and finished making cookies. And the truest Christmas miracle is that I have cooked all day. We will be in bed shortly and then mommy gets busy with playing Mrs. Santa.. Happy Eve and Happier Christmas!

This is my sister's million pound dog Oliver playing ever so gently with Perrywinkle1

Keeping It Simple at New Hope Church

Some of you may remember I got my feelings hurt last year at Church. This year, my Church isn't having services on Christmas Eve. I am so glad about it. The staff works so hard already, and the fact that Christmas Eve falls so close to Sunday services, it was decided not to have an additional Eve service. It was a relief for many. This will be the first year that the Pastor, The SCHLEYER crew, and all of the Volunteers can wake up at a reasonable hour and spend the day with their families. The message was to Keep It Simple! Normally, we have one Saturday service but yesterday we had two. I was the children's helper in the 7:30 service. All of the children were invited up to sing along with the band and then sit at the base of the stage for most of the service. There wasn't a children's service, so all the children were in the auditorium. And the message of Keeping It Simple really hit home. Although I go way overboard with the decorations, and maybe even the gifts, I am keeping it more simple this year. In a lot of other ways. I eliminated the fried who drained our emotional resources, and now I don't allow myself to worry about all of that drama. And that is huge. Only having my own family to focus on makes life more simple. I still end up hearing about it second hand, but only in a counselor sort of way. And that is not too much. THe girlz and my dad are over at my sister's house for today and I am going to get the last minute details taken cared of... I am getting the puppy in a bit so look for a puppy post later!!!

My Big Fat Swirly Whirly Christmas...

This year I started early. I had purchased most of my gifts in September and October because this girl's gotta budget. You know how little teachers make so, .... With early prep, We took our tree out in Mid-November and started decking the hall's after we got back from New York City. The decorations change my overall feeling. The lights and the memories of each of the ornaments fills my heart, and I begin to get those butterflies. I haven't really wanted anything for years, it is honestly about finding the perfect gifts for my family, my girlz, and my coworkers.. My team at school started the tradition a few years ago to get together on New Year's Eve, Eve. We exchange gifts and eat and visit, and just generally enjoy each other. This year I am having the "do" at my house. One gal who no longer teaches kindie had a baby a couple of months ago, and it is just easier meet at someone's home. My other teammate's daughter loves the creek behind my house, so her hubby will take the girlz on an epic nature quest. Yes it is freezing outside, but the kids around here are used to it. I have actually planned a menu. Yes, I am cooking. I can do it, if I have a plan and a purpose. And this will be fun. The girlz will help me, because there should be about 15 people.. I have all my gifts except one. Shhshshshsh, I have to run out and get Anna's iphone. I am ready for her to have a phone, and she loves my sister's phone so that is the one we are going with. It will be from my sister, but I want it on my plan, so I can control the features. She will only be allowed to have the numbers of family and a few emergency numbers. After she has it for a month or so, I will let her put 1 or 2 friends on it. She will have very strict rules about when she can use it, and where she can take it. There have been several times when I wish she had a phone and now this is one more area of safety and communication that I want in place. I am still trying to figure out how to give the puppy to my girlz. There are so many ideas, it just all needs to fall into place. I love the girlz trees in their rooms. I wish I had a better camera, but here are some fun shots of their Merry Goodness!

FRIDAY~!

It is Friday, and I have just a few hours until I am free to be with my girlz.. I actually have butterflies, as this year with the pup coming, I am tickled, blue..Perriwinkle blue..Hee heee~! My dad is here, my sister is coming for a visit. And mom is of course donw the street. All is well. Now, just let this day go by quickly!!!!!!!!

Guest Bloggers Are In The HizOuse!

Please forgive me..I am feeling silly today. There are just a few days before Christmas and I am all a flutter! Tonight we have a couple of guest bloggers. My daughters, MaryAnna and AugustRose. I am putting them on the spot, so...here we go!~ Anna: "I just had my winter concert for chorus. I got a speaking part. I got to introduce Ala Puerta, a Mexican folk song. I was super nervous. Everyone said I would do fine. At the end I was proud of myself, because I didn't fall off the stage. I was the loudest and the clearest speaker." AugustRose: "I am Julianne's daughter. She loves me. I sleep with her. I do my homework after school. It is easy. I like homework. I like school too. I love my Dadu, Anna, Oliver, Auntie, Aunt Lee, and my Poppy. We might get a new dog. Happy Christmas. and a Happy New Year! " Funny what they want to share. Anna got all silly and shy, August seemed sure to include everyone she loved.. The girlz have slept in my room since we said Adios to the dog..And I didn't realize how much I missed it. I am a firm believer in the family bed/room/co-sleeping. There are millions of parenting areas where I don't have a strong feeling about, but in this family, I believe in ending our day together. We are a small family of only females, which makes it very easy, but I think if I had boys who were still young, it would work as well..NOW, if there was a husband, I am not sure how that would work. I shared the other day that the girlz take turns sleeping with me. The one who is NOT sleeping with me, sleeps on the little couch that is in my room. It is at the foot of my bed so it's right here..The girlz have become afraid to sleep in their rooms this year. And I have to tell you, I don't believe in making them work through that right now. At some point, they will WANT to be in their rooms behind closed doors, so I am okay with easing their fear by keeping them close to me at night. I refuse to hear anyone debate me on this one. I am not changing my mind.. There are four days until we are finished with school. And Lord knows, I am ready. With sickness and general exhaustion, I am in need of a break. This year there is no Christmas Eve service at Church, so we are planning to go to DC mid-day to see the National Trees and to check out the Capitol Tree, which is always WAYY better. I am thinking we will have dinner in Union Station afterwards. I'd like to be home in the early evening. We only open ONE present that night. And it is a gift to the girlz. They know each year I get them a new set of jammies.. I will have to make a run to get PerriWinkle and keep her hidden from the girlz until morning. My mom may keep her until the morning..We haven't quite worked that out yet.. I sent a treat to AllieKat and she got it today. It was for her 16th birthday. I found a bunch of PUG items, (the girlz love to look for pug items since they have one) and I found her some silly little things. She is such a deserving little one. If I had my way, I'd bring AllieKat and her momma Lee up here for the new year. Ahh but there is that thing called cash. And neither one of us have extra piles of it laying around..Soon, though, Soon! Alright, the guest bloggers have fallen asleep, and it's made me awfully tired all of the sudden! Good Night!

Hard Line

I used to be a tender child. I used to have the soft and squishy feelings that many people still have. My life took many changes as a tween..I learned from my first love how to bob and weave my way through fights, altercations, and plain old jealousy...I learned at a tender age, that you either win or lose. And when you lose, you can't change anything with emotion. It just makes you hurt. And then as a teenager, my parents divorced. I hurt over that for such a long time. But once I was over it, I expected everyone to be over it..I had to pull my mom through the trenches to get her over it, and I honestly think she learned from me how to "Pull herself up by her bootstraps." And we have lived that way from that point on...I call it the bootstrap mentality. I haven't really experienced hurt like I did back in the tween and teen years ever again. Ever. Even my horrible marriage and divorce didn't hurt like those original hurts. Cause I pulled myself up, the bootstraps and all.. The kindergarten shooting has gotten me thinking. Thinking about the poor family that was at the center of the horror. It's clear from most reports that the boy was troubled. And as much as I don't want to say this, I have to wonder how much the family knew of his break with reality. I mean really, someone has to know when their child has so much "crazy" in them that they are willing to do such unthinkable things. I am willing to bet that we will find out that the boy was mentally ill, but not taking his medication. I wouldn't ever blame the family, but I have heard the mother was "rigid" and I have to wonder what that means? I know people like that. Rigid. They think that their own image is more important that actually getting their family help. It would unthinkable to the rigid sort to put their child in therapy, as it would reflect poorly on their ability to parent. They think they can "will" their child to behave and present themselves to the world in an acceptable way. But just like me, I am sure you can think of a family who is in the midst of dealing with a "troubled" child or two. And just like me, you wonder and almost know that there is a lifetime of problems ahead. As a teacher I can see them every day. I can see the families who will do everything in their power to pretent that their life is just honky dorry..But we all know. And I am sure that many people knew about the family in Connecticut. They knew and probably spoke about how the boy was "off".. Yet, distance and rigidity didn't seem to help the matter. Again, I won't blame the family. But if they couldn't focus in on their own child, then who could? I mean, should the child's teacher's be at fault for not identifying the problems and solving them? Should it be the Church? NO. The family. It all starts at the family. As you know I have been sick. I stayed home from school for 2 days and felt terribly guilty about it. On Wednesday when I came back, I found out the 12 students were absent, and then each day I had an average of 7 children absent. BUT, each day I had to send at least 2 children home. They were sick little puppies, but their parents sent them anyway. And what does that mean? I have to take instructional time to get them to the clinic and arrange to get them home. When all along the parents knew their babies were sick. Yes, the parents need to go to work, yes, they are very poor, but sending your sick child to school because YOU need to work, only makes all the other children sick. And it makes me sick too! These are the issues that I see everyday. Parents NOT being accountable. This year, I adore my students. A D O R E... They are loving and kind and smart and silly and so many of them are physically affectionate. One little girl actually tickles my shoes when I am doing the read a loud. She was one of the little ones who was sick and I had to send home. As she was waiting to be picked up, I looked at her and she was Hugging my purse. Hugging it like it was a baby. I asked her what she was doing and she quickly threw it down. I saw that she was embarrassed or ashamed and I told her, "Oh honey, it's ok. Do you want Ms. Green to give a squeeze?" She jumped up and came to me and jumped on my lap. Her hot little head was burning with a fever and I just squeezed her. This loud wiggly little girl wasn't so sparkly as she was very sick, so I just held her. When it was time for her to go, I told her it was ok to stay home. I hugged her and she gave me a sweet little kiss on my face. As strong as I am, this made me want to cry. Cry that she felt close enough to me to show that kind of affection, and also that she might not get those cuddles at home because her mom is irritated that she is missing work to take care of her.. I have been teaching for 22 years. I have seen so much in those years. One thing I know for sure, is that stress over work, and money, and bills create situations for children that are worrisome. After years of that kind of worry, it changes children. Maybe the Connecticut shooter saw those kind of problems in his home. Not money problems, but everyday problems. When children see their parents vulnerable is robs them of their sense of security and causes a shift. It changes a child. And not in a good way. We don't know yet, but in the coming months we will find out all the dirty little secrets of this person. But I already know that the family knew... One parent was at school eating with her child, and she went to get a water for herself. When asked to pay for the water, the mother said, "Oh my child is on free lunch." She was told, yes but bottled water is not a part of the lunch. The milk is the drink for the children. THe mother said, "Oh my child doesn't like milk." Then the cafeteria lady said, well we do not give water when the child has milk. The mother walked out. She walked back in and handed the milk back to the cafeteria lady. The lady said again, "We don't give bottled water to children. They must pay for it." The mother then said, "Can I get a cup of ice?" She was told that is only for adults who are paying for their lunch. The mother was trying her best to get something she was told she couldn't have. She kept pressing. I watched them leave and get into a mini van that was easily less than a couple of years old..How can they get free lunch when they can afford a new van? Again, it's what I see every day. Parents abusing the system.. I have learned after 22 years that when parents are willing to lie and abuse the system in one area, they are lying and abusing the system in a million ways..There is certain kind of person who uses their children as a "front" for getting benefits they don't deserve. They are usually without a concience and usually oblivious to the fact that what they are taking, is actually taking from those who really need it.. My hard line is not from being mean or arrogant. It's from years of seeing the problems of families, and from years of seeing the refusal of those families to do the right thing.. But hey, what do I know?

Sad

I had no idea about the shootings until I left work. We are all kind of in a bubble in our little kindergarten wing.We are at the corner of our building, and no one would pass through our hall without a purpose. We aren't watching the news or starring at our computers, so we just don't hear about national events until we leave for the day.. And as I write that, I sort of shutter... My girlz are spending the night with my sister, and I feel anxious to not have them here. Tonight is the kind of night you don't want to have your babies at someone else's home..It was such a difficult week for this momma anyway. I won't skip my flu shot next year, that is for sure.. And to end it with this sadness is just plain awful.. I want to share some happy happy joy joy but I almost feel guilty. So instead, I'll show you a little picture of our silly picture in NYC... Top of the Rock...

PerriWinkle Belle

************************** Sooo, this is the one..I THINK!! I have looked and looked for a puppy that is not "farm raised" or "Milled" that is raised in a home with a family. It is a bichon-schnauzer hybrid. And it is 6 weeks old today. If I can pull this off, it will be the suprise of the year. I took the girlz to see it, and then told them it was just too much money, and that I had to think about it..They have been asking about it every since. August held her and it licked her fingers, (there was probably left overs all over them) and it sort of High Fived Anna... The family who is belongs to lives in my city, so if I need anything, they will be able to help me. I have decided to use the vet that it has already seen..It looks big in the pictures, but it is only a little over 2 pounds there! It should be a pretty sturdy dog at about 10-12 pounds when she is an adult. On the way home, the girlz and I were talking about what we could name a puppy. We have been looking at pups and talking about them, and originally we thought of naming a pup "Macy" if we were to get it around Thanksgiving. But the other night the girlz came up with so many cute names.. I threw out naming it BLOOMIE-BELLE..As those are my two grandmother's names. Yes, one was Bloomie and one was Belle...but somehow the girls fell into "PerriWinkle" ......and I love it! They said when they are calling her, they can say, "Perrrrrriiiiiii". I think it is cute. And she looks like a little Perriwinkle. I have been doing research on dog behavior, and some say that it is best for bonding to take a dog between the 49-60th day. That is long enough to establish appropriate dog behavior, yet early so that a strong canine to himan bond..Fingers crossed!

Sick

What I thought was just "a little sick" has turned into, "OH mother of pearl, I have been run over by a MAC truck"... As I get older, I simply cannot handle getting sick. My joints ache like I am actually injured and my eyeballs feel like they are going to pop out of my head..Weird. I layed in bed all day Saturday, rolling around in my pitiful-ness thinking that somehow I would get better with rest..But it wasn't happening. Sunday I woke up irritated at the fact that my classroom was 80 degrees for 2 days..I'm good like that, I can always find a way to shift the blame..Cause I didn't get my flu shot, it can't be MY fault..SO I dragged myself to urgent care and the dear sweet doctor sent me out of there with Tamiflu, codeine-tylenol, eyedrops, and nausea medicine..I took them all on the ride home from CVS..I ran out of my diet coke and just swalled them dry! That's how bad I felt! I slept on and off all day and then decided I would take Anna to ballet since it was parents night. And now I am worn out. I am taking tomorrow off and will be back to the grind on Wednesday. YEahhhh. My Christmas cards came in the mail today. I love them. The pics are adorable of my girlz! And if you are lucky, you'll get one. Here's a little treat, send me your address and I will pop one in the mail to you... It's time for my meds..Night All!

Stuff

Man, I miss New York, and vacation life... I am getting a little bit sick, and hope that it doesn't turn into something big..I can't do teaching and sickness. Just too old for that. We are pretty much finished with the Christmas shopping so this weekend I can rest. I still have to purchase something for the girlz from my dad, but that will be easy. Helllllooo American girl. The girlz are going to my sister's house so I can really lay up all day. Even though my house is a hot mess! The girlz have no idea that I am getting them a puppy to replace the DAMN dog that went to live with a wonderful lady in Lurray. I am still searching for just the right mix but have a pretty good idea of the breeder I'd like to use.. THis year, all the gifts are purposeful. I didn't get any of the BS stuff that will be thrown away when it breaks. Just the things they want.. Sadly, I am already on a countdown to the end of the year. My students are truly presh, but the other stuff is what is killing me. You cannot imagine the "stuff I do because someone else created a document/test" and in order for that person to keep their job, I must do the useless thing...Really, taxpayers you wouldn't believe the nonsense and waste in my county. It's sad. And next year, I am really considering retiring. No, there won't be any money, but I have always wanted to do something different, and I am thinking about going back to school and taking odd jobs here and there to make ends meet...Oh hell, who am I kidding, I would have to have 10 odd jobs, but it almost feels better than the dread I have when driving into work.. Enough yucky stuff...My dad is probably going back to work full time. He can't seem to retire..What is wrong with him? I cannnnnooottt wait to retire..

Cards and Letters

I got my first Christmas card yesterday. THANK YOU TINA!! I love the idea of cards to celebrate the season. It's sort of a lost art. Most people are so connected through Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest that they think a simple, "Happy Holiday" does the trick. Well not me. Growing up in the south, I learned fast that Christmas cards, thank you notes, a "covered dish" for new mothers and loved ones who lose someone dear were the minimum. I am one of the few people who actually love to get the letters inside the cards. I may see you on facebook, but there are so many little bits of info that are shared in those letters that a post on a timeline doesn't cover.. So again, Thank You Tina for being ahead of the game and making our day! On a totally different note. THe beach house closed today. We are now in search for a new place to summer. My dad is going back to Lebanon, this time for longer. Not sure we want to spend our summers there, but hey ya never know until you try it!!

There is nothing better than a mini vacay. The girlz, my mom, and I went to NYC for Thanksgiving. It was the 10th anniversary trip for me, and a lovely anniversary, as 5 years ago on Thanksgiving Day I drove alone to AugustRose’s orphanage to pick her up. It’s odd but I sort of forget their anniversaries anymore. As I am writing this, it only occurred to me that we were driving to the hotel in a blizzard on Turkey Day all those years ago. I was sort of bummed that they had waived my ten days, as I would be leaving for Moscow the next evening. We ran around town and picked up her adoption decree and birth certificate and dropped off the documents for her passport. We packed in the afternoon, and went outside to play in the snow for all of 20 minutes. We sent our luggage and “what-nots” down to our driver after lunch, and then I went alone with the translator to pick up the passport. That evening, we were headed to Moscow. It was a real whirlwind. I could have stayed a few more days. As time goes on, we are less and less a Russian adopted family and more just a family. Nothing special about it really. Just living life and moving forward. New York City was just what we all needed. I sent the dog to a lovely lady and he won’t be coming back. It was good to do it while we were away. Anna is sort of sad, but I keep reminding her that he is happier, and we will get a puppy soon. We need a dog that we can raise and not correct. It’s funny, it makes me think about disruption. I always thought I could Never do it, but now I wonder if I could. If anyone threatened the safety of my girlz I would have to consider it. I guess that is why I never thought of adopting an older child. I guess somewhere in my mind I was always afraid to lose too much time with the child. Afraid that they would be too damaged. But what do I know… New York was amazing. We stayed in ChinaTown across the street from a cute little park full of ladies and gents doing TiaChi at all parts of the day while others played traditional Chinese instruments and sang what appeared to be traditional songs..It was awesome. Of course we found a lot of new and exciting places that we have never been before. On Wednesday we stayed in Chinatown and did a little shopping. They still do the KNOCKOFF purse/watch/glasses thing, but I don’t participate. I honestly feel like it’s stealing. The designers hate it that they are copied, and I would never carry a fake anything. But we did find tons of fun little trinkets for the girlz, and my mom found an amazing Chinese jewelry store that sold sterling silver. Needless to say, she walked away with lots of new bobbles. And maybe I did too. After a bit of shopping, we walked through Little Italy and sampled boatloads of cannoli and other Italian treats. Late night we headed to the park and the girlz enjoyed the swings for a while. Our favorite is always Times Square. We go each year and the girlz have figured out, it’s best to go at night. So when my mom had gone to sleep, the girlz and I took the subway up and walked around checking out stores and generally doing the tourist thing.

On Thanksgiving morning, we took a cab to Rockefeller Center. The cab driver let us off and told us that we were on a cross street that would allow for us to cut through the parade. So we literally walked up to a great spot to see the balloons, bands, and floats. It always happens that we just end up in the perfect spot.

This time the only “touristy” excursion was Top of the Rock. My mom wasn’t up for it, so she sat on the street watching people at Rockefeller Plaza. AugustRose was terrified when she realized that part of the tour was outdoors and 70 or so floors up. She stood by the wall and wouldn’t move. I tried to make her pose for a picture and she cried..So I took her inside and watched Anna put her quarters in the little view-finder and check out the city. It was okay, but not really worth it. But what are you gonna do? You have to see all of these things just to get them checked off the list.

We had no intention of doing any sort of Black Friday anything, so we decided to go to the Village for the day. We ended up at Washington Square. It was another bit of paradise. The girlz found the big and little dog parks and we enjoyed watching how the city dogs play! The playground there was much busier and better equipped so the girlz were in Heaven. Mom and I just sat in the sun and watched. The weather was simply gorgeous. Not too cold and such beautiful skies..

Some quotes that I want to share so I won’t forget them.. Anna’s Quotes: “I feel like I have just gotten off a plane and landed in Japan.” “Poppy, please don’t change the tv channel, your shows are so old and I will end up dreaming in Black and White.” “When I finish writing a few songs, I’m going to perform on Broadway.” AugustRose’s Quotes: “Mommie, I am going to go to college at NYU, and you can come live with me when I am there.” “When I am in New York, I love to twirl.” “I love these glasses, they make me see gorgeous.” Hope you all had a great holiday!!

Wait..Weight..

While in Florida this summer I started walking everywhere. Anna and I also rode our bikes a few times. I gotta say the bike riding part really sucked. It hurt my behind so much that I rode home from each of our rides peddling while standing..But the walking was nice. I got to sweat out my toxins, and felt less inclined to kill chocolate bars all afternoon. And then I noticed that I had lost about 15 pounds by the time I came home. And then, I had to walk the dog every day and I lost more weight..And I went to the doctor to re-up my meds, and I found out that I have lost another few pounds. To be more precise, I have lost nearly 60 pounds in the three years since my hysterectomy. Most all of it since July..And hey, I am not complaining, but I continue to lose weight. I am now wearing a size 1o pants and even my fingers and feet have shrunk..I would be worried, but I feel just fine. The only thing that is different is the extreme stress that we are under at school. I am so anxious at night that I am taking both melatonin and tylenol pm to sleep. If not, I would stare at my ceiling thinking about all of the things I am not finished with at school.. We are leaving for Manhattan tomorrow night. It's the 10th anniversary of me going..I used to go with my "idiot X-husband". We would drive up after he got off of work in the evening, sleep in the car and then spend the day in the city, then come home later in the day. It feels really good to actually stay a few days and obviously to stay in a hotel.I am not up for the car camping thing anymore! This year I am driving. Yes, me. But since we leave tomorrow, I have plenty of time to get there without feeling rushed! We did the color run at Church last weekend. The girlz had a blast and I enjoyed spraying them with loads of colorful powder!! >

Carrie Bradshaw said it best when she jumped into a painful situation knowing the outcome would be hurtful, "I'm an emotional cutter." And I agree..Because I am one too.. I did the thing I do every so often knowing it will hurt. I emailed the new Director of the school in Moscow that I have been stalking for 8 years. I shared that I was highly skilled and ready for a change, and wanted nothing more than to teach for the school.. And he was so kind. I got a "No", but with a follow up to explain what I already know, they simply cannot afford to give my chidlren free tuition when I am only a singleton. He shared a few personal compliments about understanding my desire to be in Russia and ended our correspondence with a Best of Luck. But you see, I don't need luck. I need a teacher to become my husband and want to teach in Russia. I need a man who will marry me, or agree to be my life partner while in Russia so that I can get there..But honestly, I can't imagine being with a man anymore. I haven't dated since I divorced and I am so okay with that..Who really wants to shave their legs that often? And don't get me started on the bikini waxes.. Even though I knew how it would end, it still hurts. I have never been rejected for something based on my family dynamic so it's odd to hear it. Again, "I'm an emotional cutter."

Thumbs Up!

We were at the dentist repairing a cavity, and pulling a tooth so that Anna's mouth can be prepped for braces. The dentist asked if she sucked her thunb. I tol her, "OF course not, she sucks her fingers." Then she announced that she could put an appliance in her mouth that would keep her from sucking her fingers. She might as well said, I will torture your child and make her eat bugs for years! I will not, ever, make my child stop sucking her fingers. It relaxes her. It was her coping mechanism at the baby home, and I could never jump in and try to take away the one thing she can control about her own relaxation techniques.. It's the same with AugustRose, she sucks her thumb, but I won't make her stop either. Both girls have eased up how much they suck their fingers. It has happened naturally. When Anna was getting her tooth pulled and the doctor was speaking about the appliance for stopping her sucking her fingers, Anna lifted her thumb up and gave me the FONZ, "Aaaaayyyyyy!"

Hoobastank The Reason

Today is election day, but I am quite sure there is one family out there who couldn't care less about who wins and loses this presidential race.. My dear blogger friend "Nellie" lost her son in October and as expected, she is a wreck about it. As you could also expect, no mother wants to lose her child, and considering this dear troubled boy committed suicide, it probably feels even worse. I have heard this song twice this week, and almost HEAR Elya singing it to his mother. Because she is the reason for his love of Christ, his desire to be better, and his willingness to be the boy she adopted..I close my eyes and see that last strong hug and hold onto it in my mind. And know that Elya is starting over. Elya is starting over new..In Heaven

Coldplay - Fix You

Sometimes all we want to do is simply "fix it"...and yet in our hearts we know we can't.. But we try. I love you Nellie..

Yeahhhh..(In the most Sarcastic Way)

So this is how the day went..
Overslept, as I have been home for 4 days lounging, playing on the internet, planning my new kitchen, which I have no money to pay for, running my girlz to various family members so they don't run the risk of being without power, and generally loving life..
Got to school and remembered that last week, the entire heating/cooling unit was taken out of my room so it was FRIGID in there..Then it occured to me that I had a new student starting, and then I reviewed my parent conference schedule and YEah, I had 2 during my break, and 1 after school! AWESOME..
So I tested my students ALL DAY as we only have 4 days left to complete all tests..Then got the call from the plumber saying I had a choice, get the work started on Thursday or wait til next week..Well clearly I had to choose tomorrow..So I rushed to put in a sub for tomorrow, (1 less testing day) and started writing sub plans during my lunch..Tested some more, and had all of the conferences, then I had to rush home to get the girlz ready to TRICK OR TREAT..Another Yeah.. Oh wait, I need dog food. No problem, I just swung by the fancy shmancy dog spa and picked it up...Oh wait, had to get an actual check from the bank as I don't have any more. No problem, I simply went to the bank and walked in to see, YEP, every fool in Virginia there waiting to cash their check..Forgot it was payday. YEahhh.
So I survived that and got on the HELL road home and made it just prior to dark. But I needed the cute plastic pumpkins from outside, so as I slipped out the door, THE DAMN dog slipped out and BOOKED it down the road. And I mean booked it. He ran like Forest across roads and sidewalks..So out I went running, and yelling at the damn dog(My girlz were running behind me, Anna crying, August yelling how hard she thought I should punish the dog)
Once I caught him, I felt like throwing up, but I kept my coffee down, and brought him home. I was soo tempted to let that lil mess run away..
Then we finalized our Halloween wear and took to the streets of our own neighborhood. I walked out and Oh wait, shut the door and forgot my keys..Yeahh. So had to call my mom to bring over her key..She was thrilled. So I took the girlz to their friends house and waited on the corner for my mom to bring a key..Then I headed down the road and met up with my littles.
Being in our neighborhood was a real  YEAHhh!
This was a first for our lil' family. Since the girlz were born to me, we have traveled down south to trick or treat with my friend with Russian adopted children. For a variety of reasons, we don't visit with the family anymore.  Anna had come to me a few weeks ago and asked me if we could stay in our own neighborhood with her school friends to T-or-T this year, and I gladly agreed.
So this day was a HAyooj nightmare of running, stressing and generally freaking out! But in the end, we walked our little neighborhood with friends and had a great time. We are already home with candy traded and put away for the night..I am home tomorrow waiting for the plumber to come and repair the leak and take all of my money so I get to sleep easy and wake up and pretend I am a stay at home mom...

Here are some pics from tonight. Sorry I need to find a proper camera.


August is of course sneaking a peice of candy..



The cowboy and the cow neighbor and Princess Augsut



Annie and her friend Allie..(Friends since kindergarten)



I own it..

Sometimes I think its more pressure to hide weaknesses than to own up to it..
I own my faults and failures, now there is no need to pile on..
Careful about your critical nature, it could bite you in the ass...

Imagine

Let's imagine everyday was a day without work..Let's imagine I could go to the punkin'  patch everyday! Imagine riding hayrides everyday!

 

 

 

Life would be better if I could live in my imagination..

Hide Your Eyes If You Are Sensitive to Language

Damn Damn Damn EFFF, EFFF EFF EFFF...

My cursed plumbing is at it again, and now, my ceiling collapsed in my pantry and water fell from the 2nd floor like a waterfall! SHIT..
Just when I caught up on my finances, this happens. Of course just before our trip to NYC, and of course in the end of the month when I am always sort of broke..

I thought of crying when my light exposed due to the water. But instead, I went upstairs and took melatonin and went to sleep..Today I cleaned up the dry wall that was everywhere. Through out the wet food and whatnot's that were in the pantry..

We went to Church last night so we had a free day for me to feel all sorts of pissed off. But I took a giant nap after I got it all straightened up and now I feel pretty fine with the fact that I am sure I will have to find the cash to make the repair..Damn it.  I am sure I could glue gun the leak if I could only find it..


And if  any of you remember  me posting a picture of my dog, you will remember that I warned my little gal NOT to bug the everlovin' shit out of the him. Well, it was partly my fault, but the dog bit my girlz finger.She was getting him out from my room to put him in his area, and when she went to get him It didn't break the skin, and it didn't leave a mark, but it scared the heck out of my mom and my gal..So I posted an add on CL to find him a new home. He actually needs a single person. He is a great little guy, but we just make him too nervous and irritated. I tried to ease my gal into the idea of finding Marty a new home and she broke into a tear fest that ended up lasting for two days. I tried to explain that we don't know Marty's history and why he was in the Humane Society and that at his age, we can't expect him to jump into our lives and be okay with it. She begged me not to give him away. I told her we needed to get a puppy that would grow up with her and although she liked the idea, she wasn't sold on the thought of giving away our first dog.. I kept the puppy idea alive all week and I believe we are making progress..I have found 4 or 5 people who are very interested and I have asked them to give us a couple of weeks..My plan was to find a puppy and then get it just prior to moving Mary to one of the people who want him..BUT now the whole plumbing things will certainly take away from the finance department of GreenInc. so who the heck knows what we will do..

Plan B is Finally Shaping Up!

Today we spent the day on the Hill..Also known as Capitol Hill..The picture below is from the drive I took for 9 or so years on my way home. I lived a couple of blocks behind the Capitol. And today we went to the city and I took the girlz to my old English Basement apartment.

Here we are in front of the spot where I spent lots of great years.

As you all know, I am barely tolerating my drive to work.
You also know that the chances of getting a job in Russia is less than zero percent..So I have been thinking, the only way to eliminate my commute is to move North of my job. I have looked in Alexandria and Arlington, but I am just not that girl. So the girlz and I went to the Hill to check out all the changes in the neighborhood. And I wasn't let down. Because I need time and thought to wade through this, I decided to start by just looking around and getting a feel of what areas are most to my liking. So far, I still love Lincoln Park the best. So many happy memories there..SOOOooo,
we started our house hunt. The average townhouse similar to what we have is around 8hundred thousand, so we will be looking for a while.I need one about half that price so it will have to be the perfect situation. I went to visit a gal-pal that I used to teach with, and who helped me move my furniture into the apartment up there in the picture..
We stuck my full size sofa across her jeep and hit the road. It teeter-tottered the whole ride!
My girlfriend and I put the girlz in her hot-tub today and she and I did some calling around..And thankfully we have the time and patience to hold out and hope that after the election, there will be some movement on smaller places..Nonetheless, we are tickled about the decision.
I can't wait to actually go and look at some places in person. Online is just not the same.

I cannot wait to get out of this house. It never really flowed right and 3 levels are just too much for me to keep up with.

Who knew that Plan B was actually PlanDC?

I walked out the door a bit ago to walk the dog. I didn't put my  regular clothes on, stayed in my pj's..Sanz bra ...and headed out to give the little guy a walk. As I took the corner to the bushes, I wiped out and hit the ground..Then the idiot dog took off..And when I say took off I mean at a sprint! So I dusted myself off and ran after him..The only reason I could him was he ran into the crazy man on the next road. I got him and we went home.. As he ran in, he jumped against the door and closed it. AND yes, it was locked!! So there I was, standing in my pj's and no bra., starring at the locked front door.

I remembered that my window was open. So I took the ladder down from the back of the house. It is my dad's extension ladder. And I hiked around the to the side of the house and extended it 3 floors and crawled up the side of the house. I am pretty afraid of open heights, so I didn't look down! I got in and made myself a giant cup of coffee. As I sat it down beside my bed. Then I turned and knocked it over onto my side table and all over the space on the floor and my "just cleaned" cause of the whole head-lice thing".....So now, I am redoing the linens in my room, and now near tears!!! Little shit dog. It's all his fault!

DEAD RECKONING
DEFINITION AND PURPOSE
700. Definition and Use
Dead reckoning is the process of determining one’s
present position by projecting course(s) and speed(s) from
a known past position, and predicting a future position by
projecting course(s) and speed(s) from a known present
position. The DR position is only an approximate position
because it does not allow for the effect of leeway, current,
helmsman error, or compass error.

I Watched A Show

about adoption tonight. It was really well done..It was told from the POV of the birth mother. Two gals were on it, one hippy momma was on it and giving birth to twins. She had such a beautiful view of "community" and how we are all in this together. Her parting words to the wee twins and the adoptive family was, "Wow, you all look beautiful there."

The other girl, who lives just a few towns away sort of broke my heart.
She is actually a girl I know. A gal who spent Christmas in my home 2 years ago.. She ended up changing her mind at the last moments and I couldn't help but tear up for the adoptive parents to be...God, why don't people just go to Russia? Or China? or anywhere in the world where the birth mom is already out of the picture...I spoke to this gal a few months/weeks before the baby was born and kept telling her it would be harder than she thought..She seemed so sure.  And I guess that is the point. We can never be sure of what a child will do to change us..
   
And on a much lighter note, guess what little girl in my house has begun the year with a mighty fine case of///////////H E A D L I C E????????????

My little Auggie came home with an Itchy head and a rash on her ears and neck..The school didn't inform us, and I know some of those little hooligans had to be itchy! She didn't get if from the dog! We washed and combed, and combed, and combed, and combed...The nurse at school told us to comb it with the fancy little   bug catchin' comb every night until we retreat it on Saturday..Uggg. I spent my whole holiday weekend doing linens and washing clothes...Twice.
I did get a chance to do some online shopping and yes I got the Rose an Ipod Touch..JUDGE me. I don't care. She loves her music, and loves her little games. So yeah, I dropped a couple hunge on her gift..So What???
Anna is getting an I-phone. I have wanted to get her a phone for a while now, and this year it is time. She won't have many numbers on the phone and will only have it for games and photos and emergencies!
It's okay if you think I am spoiling my girlz. I love it! Those are their big gifts and the others will be little treat-treats..

My dad is still in Lebanon. I actually asked him if I would like it there. He is looking into international schools..No, I am not saying I would go, but I gotta think no one else would want to go, so maybe my chances would be better!

Life is tootling along, and I am on the Thanksgiving countdown to NYC. We got the coolest little hotel in Little Italy and will eat at Cha-Chas where we have had our Thanksgiving meal every year! I am planning a tour of either the Top of the Rock or the Empire State Building..Don't know which one yet. Any thoughts?
We have done the Statue of Liberty, 9-11 Memorial, Rockefeller Tree, American Girl, and most of the neighborhoods. I considered a Broadway Show, but they are crazy expensive. I don't want to go unless we can all see the stage well, and those tix are over 2 hundred each..Just cannot spend 1K on a show..No.
We are thinking about leaving and driving out to Brighton Beach before we go home. I love to see the Russian neighborhood out there. We'll see.

Ugg. Work day tomorrow. I had a great time pretending to be a SAHM..I had a holiday and the girlz had school so I got to get up and help the girlz get ready. And walk them to the bus stop. Ahhh, the little things!

Saying Goodbye

So how does one say Goodbye to something like a beach house? I knew it would happen one day, but I guess I still find it hard to believe that there are people out there with that kind of disposable income. My dad never intended to keep the house forever. It has always been his little nest egg for his retirement. Thankfully he was able to finally sell it after 3 or 4 years on the market. And what this means for our little family is that we will no longer be traveling to Florida for the entire summer. My dad still has a home on the river in Ft. Myers, but you can't swim in the river, and we don't have a boat for sailing. We could always drive to Ft. Myers beach, but it's not the same. There are so many memories in my dad's beach house.

My lil' Anni at the beach for sunset..

 It's the one place where I felt like a super mom. It's where I am in relaxed mode and can be the mother I wish I could be all year..Because we stay outside most of the time, there are no giant messes to clean, and because we don't take many toys, there aren't heaps of things to do each night, so we just visit. Sometimes we sit and read together. Sometimes we all get on our phones and /or computers and just surf and play games together. But mostly we are just together. Physically close. We started calling it "3 Time"..That time when we do something just the 3 of us..Walking on the beach at night, swimming in the dark, going to WallyMart, and this year, visiting the pound every few days.
Part of me is devastated. Part of me is joyous. This summer I prayed constantly about 2 things, me getting a transfer and my dad selling the beach house. By the end of the summer I had sort of made a deal with God,
"Help Dad sell his house, and I will give up on a job transfer!"  Well thank you to the man upstairs for hearing me and making it happen..

Allie, J, and Anna washing their feet at the beach...

I am not sure I can put into words the love that is in that house. It's the first place that Anna and I went to after coming home from Russia. It's also the first place that August flew to as well..It's where Aunt Lee met my girlz for the first time. It's where so many happy things have happened. I have NEVER liked any of the homes that I have lived in since becoming a mom, but the beach house..I have always loved it.

But there will be other summer memories. That I am sure of. It's just one tradition that I am sad to let go of..Our Thanksgiving tradition of going to NYC with my mom is living on..This will be my 10th year of going. We landed a great hotel on Mulberry Street, down-town of course with a garage on the same street. So we are all set for that week..

Dad and Anna at the beach..

Anna swimming with her wings!

And my dad left for Beirut, Lebanon yesterday. I am thrilled for him to be living his dream of work and travel. He deserves it. I can't wait to hear the details of the apple farmers in the mountains! We drove him to the airport at Dulles and I got the sickest envious feeling. It seems to be worse than ever when I travel to Dulles. I guess because that is the airport that houses Aeroflot and it's signage can be seen from the road..I feel the strangest pit in my stomach. A feeling of jealousy and of irritation. Funny I am still irritated at the really large private international school in St. Petersburg and Moscow. Knowing that they hire people with much less experience simply because they happened to be married to someone with less experience... And each time I leave Dulles, I immediately come home looking for jobs in Russia. Knowing that it pretty much a closed door..And then I am irritated again..When Dad comes home, I am making my sister go get him..I don't want to look at that sign any time soon..

AugustRose's little toes in the sand for the 1st time..

AugustRose and Anni and I when Auggie had just turned 2!

Beautiful Baby turned 2 at the beach..

School is just meh...I am having a lot of issues with a coworker. And it really colors the way I feel as I go to work each day. I have to imagine that each day will be better, even if it hasn't gotten better. And the drive into work still SUX..But what am I to do? So I just go with it, and bust my ass everyday to teach the children..And give my own children the part of me that is left over..But this year, I secretly save a little of me..My girlz deserve it.



So Paka to the beach house..You have been good to us, and we will miss you! Thank you for giving us a beautiful set of summer memories!

Sprinkles

Today the weather turned. It happens every year. And I can always pinpoint when it happens. It's a day at the end of the summer when there is a crisp edge to the morning. I can usually smell someone cooking something and although it is not cold, it's enough of a change to make me take notice.. And when it happens, I usually wax sentimental about my life..You see, there is no fall in Florida where I grew up. The leaves don't change color. And there is no chance of snow..

I adore the fall..So many happy memories. Both adoptions were finalized during this time of year, so naturally those memories come flooding back when I notice the weather changes. I can't quite explain the feeling of joy that comes along with knowing that you about to travel around the world to have a baby. I am sure anyone who adopts understands..

And that comes to what I wanted to share. How long have you felt grateful to Russia about an international adoption?

 

I have said this before, but I chose to adopt internationally so that I wouldn't have to deal with any chance of a birth mother changing her mind.  I also didn't want everyone to know that I adopted. But I end up talking and sharing every detail of my adoptions anyway. Of coarse I realize gratitude for our children is forever, but how long does adoption stay the focus of who our children are?

Through my attempts to work in Russia, I realized that my girlz don't really care much about Russia. They aren't really one way or the other about it.. The girlz don't really identify with being Russian..As much as I have tried to sprinkle our lives with Russian  touches, it ends up that sprinkles are all that the girlz really require..Because they just want to be little girlz who go to ballet and dance, play in the yard, act silly, and never clean their messes..

 

I have always wanted to "give back" and pay my respect to good ole Mother Russia but at close to 9 years on, I feel like there is not a lot left to give. So I ask any adoptive families, do you still sprinkle your lives with Russian Appreciation or are you over it?