I trust very few people with my girlz. I mean, I trust their teachers with them during the day, but I wouldn't trust them with my girlz when dealing with their souls..
I am in sort of pickle but thankfully, there are several around me that I trust..
Anna is going to summer camp this year. Sleep away camp. And all along, we have planned that I would go along with the group as a chaperone. I teach most of those children at Church so it won't be a big deal.
BUT, our summer school schedule came out and the camp would be during the first two days of camp. I can't really miss any days for summer school. They let us know now so that we can plan for the time, and I don't want to leave them hanging.
When I told Anna about it, she cried. I know she is fearful, so I told her she would still have a great time without me. But I know she is scared. I spoke with Steph at Church, and she assured me she would be just fine. In my heart I know she will, but I still worry. I asked Anna if she still wanted to go if I couldn't be there, and she said YES. She has looked forward to this for 2 years. It's already paid for, so I think it's a go!
I know I will be a basket case but need to deal with myself, be a big girl..But it's soo hard!
I think I may send my dad down there to stay in a hotel room for a couple of days to just be there in case something happens. I am such a baby.
And on being a baby, I went to IKEA to buy the cabinets. And then I chickened out. Everyone in the story was so stressed. It was the last day of the Kitchen Sale and the place was out of control..So with my money in my pocket, I left. I will go back when I know the employees will have the time to really go over everything..Again, a baby!!
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Thank You Dr Phil...
People have asked if I ever date..No. No room in my life for a man..
And my nightly obsession with Dr. Phil brought this little gem..
Did you know that the risk of abuse, be it sexual, physical, or other is 14% higher if living with bio mom only..(I get to exclude myself, since I am not dating)k
That risk to the children increases to 33% if the mom lives with a non related partner...
You willing to take that risk?
I'm not..
In the clip, the poor young gal moves a man in after a week.
Now that's just redic, and I am sure you think that could never happen in the real world.
But it does. And those women, they are showing their daughters and sons how to devalue themselves. As if it's not bad enough that a woman would allow herself to be so desperate and needy that she would move a man in after a week or month or two, but now her children look at their mom and think it's okay. And the cycle of crazy continues..
Then there is Octomom..Really?
I kind of think this story has a lot more tragedy coming..
And my nightly obsession with Dr. Phil brought this little gem..
Did you know that the risk of abuse, be it sexual, physical, or other is 14% higher if living with bio mom only..(I get to exclude myself, since I am not dating)k
That risk to the children increases to 33% if the mom lives with a non related partner...
You willing to take that risk?
I'm not..
In the clip, the poor young gal moves a man in after a week.
Now that's just redic, and I am sure you think that could never happen in the real world.
But it does. And those women, they are showing their daughters and sons how to devalue themselves. As if it's not bad enough that a woman would allow herself to be so desperate and needy that she would move a man in after a week or month or two, but now her children look at their mom and think it's okay. And the cycle of crazy continues..
Then there is Octomom..Really?
I kind of think this story has a lot more tragedy coming..
http://aistday.ru/journal/vnd20072.pdf
Novosibirsk has always tried...
Even as a baby, she was my Strawberry Girl!
Novosibirsk has always tried...
Even as a baby, she was my Strawberry Girl!
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Russian Embassy
Because the news that the Boston Bomber is Russian, everyone asks me, "So what do you think?" I sort of want to choke people when they ask, but I see why they'd do it..
Right now, I am not making a comment.
What I know is that the bombers country of origin is not actually Russian..Or in my mind it's not..
But I will chat about that, and all that it entails later.
What I can say is that the parents of these two thugs have already blamed the U.S. for this. They have already said it's a frame up..
Parents, this is where we all have to really look at our teenage or young adult children. What are they doing? Do you really know what they are up to?
We just got back from Cradle of Hope's Easter Party. It was a bit different than before, but sadly not as good. Last time they had lots of crafts upstairs, and little activities. This year they had a drawing table, and that's it. There was a table of toys and books for sale. But nothing really Russiany. There was a show put on by the Embassy school. It was really cute this year. Lot's of Michael Jackson songs..Odd yes. The theme revolved around a peaceful earth, so of course they put on a rendition of The Wizard of Oz. And if you wondered if they played Fifty Cents' "CandyShop" within the play, you'd be right! I am sure you also wondered if they somehow weaved 2 Indians and an Egyptian Princess into the play..So let me share with you, they did!
For the first time, I got to see the pool and the gym used for the school children. It was a beautiful day and I saw the school, from the area where the food is served. I also met up with an old acquaintance. When I began my adoption with AugustRose, it was a busy time with COH. I went in to finalize my home study update, and work on a couple of documents, and I was shown 3 files. They were "off the record" but because I was paper ready, I could review them. I took home info on 3 children. One of those little girlz was at the embassy today. I remember her first because of her name. It doesn't sound too Russiany. But I have met the family a couple of times before. I also met another family from Ireland. Their daughter is Anni's age.
Overall it was a nice day out. But sad that there are no babies at the event anymore. I saw a couple of toddlers, but no more tinies like in years before. The girlz and I giggled a lot. And as I looked around, I realized how blessed I am. I am sure that many of the families there feel equally as blessed.
For the first time I left feeling like I won't go back for a while. That feeling of familiarity to the adoption world is gone.
Right now, I am not making a comment.
What I know is that the bombers country of origin is not actually Russian..Or in my mind it's not..
But I will chat about that, and all that it entails later.
What I can say is that the parents of these two thugs have already blamed the U.S. for this. They have already said it's a frame up..
Parents, this is where we all have to really look at our teenage or young adult children. What are they doing? Do you really know what they are up to?
We just got back from Cradle of Hope's Easter Party. It was a bit different than before, but sadly not as good. Last time they had lots of crafts upstairs, and little activities. This year they had a drawing table, and that's it. There was a table of toys and books for sale. But nothing really Russiany. There was a show put on by the Embassy school. It was really cute this year. Lot's of Michael Jackson songs..Odd yes. The theme revolved around a peaceful earth, so of course they put on a rendition of The Wizard of Oz. And if you wondered if they played Fifty Cents' "CandyShop" within the play, you'd be right! I am sure you also wondered if they somehow weaved 2 Indians and an Egyptian Princess into the play..So let me share with you, they did!
For the first time, I got to see the pool and the gym used for the school children. It was a beautiful day and I saw the school, from the area where the food is served. I also met up with an old acquaintance. When I began my adoption with AugustRose, it was a busy time with COH. I went in to finalize my home study update, and work on a couple of documents, and I was shown 3 files. They were "off the record" but because I was paper ready, I could review them. I took home info on 3 children. One of those little girlz was at the embassy today. I remember her first because of her name. It doesn't sound too Russiany. But I have met the family a couple of times before. I also met another family from Ireland. Their daughter is Anni's age.
Overall it was a nice day out. But sad that there are no babies at the event anymore. I saw a couple of toddlers, but no more tinies like in years before. The girlz and I giggled a lot. And as I looked around, I realized how blessed I am. I am sure that many of the families there feel equally as blessed.
For the first time I left feeling like I won't go back for a while. That feeling of familiarity to the adoption world is gone.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
The Old and the Young
It's Report Card time, so needless to say, I am a wreck of worry and confusion as I try to formulate little words and letters into a formal document fit for FCPS...It is the saddest thing I have ever seen. Standards based reporting for children who need an entire year to learn the language, let alone to count to 100 by one and backwards from 50...Just sad.
This is my best class in a very long time and I want to tell their parents, "HEY, they are reading and writing, they are memorizing poems, and figure out complex GT based word problems, they are well behaved and motivated to be GOOD, and kind..
Ahhh, but not the case for the report cards we now have.. It is important to check the appropriate box and only give one of the approved comments. Which by the way are organized about as well as my craft closet.. So the past few days I have been very blue. Blue at the state of affairs in the schools lately. I am not alone. Not by a long shot. Young teachers tootle along and think this is the way to do it.. Search and assess, means missing the essence of who a child is. And what is more important than what they can do, is, Who They Are.. And we are fighting a battle between young and old. Young feeling as if those of us who have been around a while just never found the "right" way to teach.. Young feeling congratulatory to each other when they fill out the latest grid/matrix which tells them nothing but what that child could regurgitate that day.. The old hoping desperately that no one notices that said grid/matrix wasn't completed; because that day we had to complete a retelling bear that their favorite other teacher friend did.. And it was way more fun..
I woke up this morning thinking about young and old. Laughing that I am in the old group. Laughing that although I have been in the class for 22 years, I have people doubting me simply because I refuse to buy the company line. Reason being, I bought the company line in 1992 when we implemented the "15-To-1" program. In 1996 I bought into the idea of pull out programs. In 1999 I bought into Core Knowledge. In 2000 I bought into Words their Way. In 2004 I bought into Lucy Caulkins.
But slowly and mysteriously through the myriad of programs thrown our way, whether it be working with a small group or large, I found out what works. I found out that I have the gift of sharing information. I found out that through sharing personal stories and my favorite books, that I can hold the attention of young children. I can review information in a way that small ones find interesting. I can secretly inflict my own personal "manners" beliefs on my small ones and they gladly buy into it. Over time, I feel like I know the children. And over time, through decades of relied upon evaluations, I can know what they know without needing an 8 page checklist. I can reteach and reach deeper for those who need it. One who has worked with 5 year olds for 22 years, KNOWS.
But the young ones are the ones towing the line. They won't stand with us to say, "This is nonsense."
And this is where I am. Working with line towers. Me feeling like Norma Rae. Needing to stand up on the line and shout out, "We aren't going to take it anymore..."
But I won't. I can't. The one thing about myself that I can't believe is that becoming a mother has made me very practical. Very.
I have given up the dream to live overseas. I have given up the idea of starting a business/charity. I have given up the idea of things..As much as it seems as though I have given up a lot. It's not the case. I get wayyy more than I give up. My girlz may be a pain in the ass sometimes, but they are the reason for my practicality, and I am ok with it.
Tonight is an event at my school. GAME NIGHT With all of our self inflicted search for rigor, we have chosen to have Game Night. We invite the parents to come to our school and play games. Yeah, just what I said. There has to be a better way to use our precious time with parents in the building.
BUT, at the last minute, Anna reminded me that tonight is her chorus concert. I have missed most all of their events at school. Mom goes, but this time Anni asked/begged me to go. The mistake I made is not telling my principal about it. Report cards have had me in a tizzy, so honestly, I kept thinking of emailing her, but then something would come up. So I sent it this morning.
And although I like to consider myself a rebel, I do worry that I will upset someone or they will be angry with me.
As the sun starts to rise and the birds begin their songs, it bothers me that I wake up with a nervous stomach. I should not dread my school day.
This is my best class in a very long time and I want to tell their parents, "HEY, they are reading and writing, they are memorizing poems, and figure out complex GT based word problems, they are well behaved and motivated to be GOOD, and kind..
Ahhh, but not the case for the report cards we now have.. It is important to check the appropriate box and only give one of the approved comments. Which by the way are organized about as well as my craft closet.. So the past few days I have been very blue. Blue at the state of affairs in the schools lately. I am not alone. Not by a long shot. Young teachers tootle along and think this is the way to do it.. Search and assess, means missing the essence of who a child is. And what is more important than what they can do, is, Who They Are.. And we are fighting a battle between young and old. Young feeling as if those of us who have been around a while just never found the "right" way to teach.. Young feeling congratulatory to each other when they fill out the latest grid/matrix which tells them nothing but what that child could regurgitate that day.. The old hoping desperately that no one notices that said grid/matrix wasn't completed; because that day we had to complete a retelling bear that their favorite other teacher friend did.. And it was way more fun..
I woke up this morning thinking about young and old. Laughing that I am in the old group. Laughing that although I have been in the class for 22 years, I have people doubting me simply because I refuse to buy the company line. Reason being, I bought the company line in 1992 when we implemented the "15-To-1" program. In 1996 I bought into the idea of pull out programs. In 1999 I bought into Core Knowledge. In 2000 I bought into Words their Way. In 2004 I bought into Lucy Caulkins.
But slowly and mysteriously through the myriad of programs thrown our way, whether it be working with a small group or large, I found out what works. I found out that I have the gift of sharing information. I found out that through sharing personal stories and my favorite books, that I can hold the attention of young children. I can review information in a way that small ones find interesting. I can secretly inflict my own personal "manners" beliefs on my small ones and they gladly buy into it. Over time, I feel like I know the children. And over time, through decades of relied upon evaluations, I can know what they know without needing an 8 page checklist. I can reteach and reach deeper for those who need it. One who has worked with 5 year olds for 22 years, KNOWS.
But the young ones are the ones towing the line. They won't stand with us to say, "This is nonsense."
And this is where I am. Working with line towers. Me feeling like Norma Rae. Needing to stand up on the line and shout out, "We aren't going to take it anymore..."
But I won't. I can't. The one thing about myself that I can't believe is that becoming a mother has made me very practical. Very.
I have given up the dream to live overseas. I have given up the idea of starting a business/charity. I have given up the idea of things..As much as it seems as though I have given up a lot. It's not the case. I get wayyy more than I give up. My girlz may be a pain in the ass sometimes, but they are the reason for my practicality, and I am ok with it.
Tonight is an event at my school. GAME NIGHT With all of our self inflicted search for rigor, we have chosen to have Game Night. We invite the parents to come to our school and play games. Yeah, just what I said. There has to be a better way to use our precious time with parents in the building.
BUT, at the last minute, Anna reminded me that tonight is her chorus concert. I have missed most all of their events at school. Mom goes, but this time Anni asked/begged me to go. The mistake I made is not telling my principal about it. Report cards have had me in a tizzy, so honestly, I kept thinking of emailing her, but then something would come up. So I sent it this morning.
And although I like to consider myself a rebel, I do worry that I will upset someone or they will be angry with me.
As the sun starts to rise and the birds begin their songs, it bothers me that I wake up with a nervous stomach. I should not dread my school day.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Well, Isn't life funny?
And as I write that, please note the overlying tone of absolute disgust and sarcasm.
I have my kitchen project going and I finally made the decision to go with a very basic Ikea cabinet.
I don't care for any sort of decoration on the surface of the cabinet doors, and I love the interior fittings on the basic Ikea cabinets. They {Serbian guy and Dreadlock guy} came to measure and organize what cabinet can go where and how I can get the most out of the small space. I thought about what it most important, and realized that the counters are more important than the cabinets. And even more important than the counter is the back splash. So I decided to spend my money on those. Remember, this is a Disney year so I am on a mad dash to save money for both the kitchen and the Orlando trip.
I won't be able to do the back splash or the lighting or the flooring right now. I just don't have the cash yet. I can get the cabinets and countertops done and each month put some aside for completing it. The way I figure, I will use my tax return money next year to put in the dream back splash, flooring, and lighting...
I haven't nailed down the countertops yet..It will be one of these two..Both are sort of sparkly. Yes, kitchens need sparkle. It diverts the eye away from the tv dinners and microwaved deserts..
I have thought about doing a wallpaper back splash for now. Cause the glass subway tiles won't buy themselves. I found this and think it would be cute for a year or so..
And then we come to this week..
My AC has always been wonky. It really never worked correctly. I have had it serviced and each year the little tubes/pipes on the unit outside develop little icicles and it shuts down. Then I pour hot water over them to melt the ice. This gives us just enough cool air to get through the night. Then it starts all over again. I have never really cared to fix the AC because of the expense of it all. AND we always leave for the entire summer. By the time we would get home from my dad's beach house, the weather would be brutal for a month or so, and then fall would come along just in time to save us..
And now this.
In the Northeren Virginia area the weather has already hit brutal. Last week there was a 90 degree day. IN APRIL. Are ya kidding me? And guess what? MY AC FINALLY DIED. LIKE REALLY DIED...Not the frozen popsicle kind of died, but the whole unit stopped running. It made a sad little humming noise and that was it..
But guess what? The little nest egg I put away for my kitchen cabinets will just barely cover the cost of a new AC unit...Great, just effing great. Now I gotta figure out if I want to have a room suitable for cooking or if I want to spend the summer in my own personal bikram yoga experience.. Sometimes I just have to laugh at my own misfortune.
Thankfully this weekend was cooler than earlier in the week..And having the windows open made it quite nice. But, I know what's coming, and it ain't pretty..So I have a decision to make. My heart is just broken that I can't do the kitchen. But totally happy I don't have to beg the cash off my parents to do the AC..Times like this, I wish I had the kind of job that pays for overtime, and compensates for achievement, offers Christmas bonuses..You know, a real job.
Ok..I can't think about it anymore. I jokingly said I was going to put a paypal button on my Facebook page to see if people would fund my lavish lifestyle..Now, maybe I should put one here. I could really use the extra money, and Momma doesn't want to hit the corner for it! HAHAHAH
Have a great week ya'll..Next week is the Embassy party and I might just be bringing Dadushka..Can't wait to share the details..I am sure there will be press there..
And as I write that, please note the overlying tone of absolute disgust and sarcasm.
I have my kitchen project going and I finally made the decision to go with a very basic Ikea cabinet.
I don't care for any sort of decoration on the surface of the cabinet doors, and I love the interior fittings on the basic Ikea cabinets. They {Serbian guy and Dreadlock guy} came to measure and organize what cabinet can go where and how I can get the most out of the small space. I thought about what it most important, and realized that the counters are more important than the cabinets. And even more important than the counter is the back splash. So I decided to spend my money on those. Remember, this is a Disney year so I am on a mad dash to save money for both the kitchen and the Orlando trip.
 |
| This is as close to what I want as I can find. I want a much funkier counter, back splash, and haven't found a cabinet 'pull' that I like yet..The floor is just what I want! |
I won't be able to do the back splash or the lighting or the flooring right now. I just don't have the cash yet. I can get the cabinets and countertops done and each month put some aside for completing it. The way I figure, I will use my tax return money next year to put in the dream back splash, flooring, and lighting...
You can't tell here, but this is super sparkly when the under cabinet lighting hits it..Sparkle. All about the sparkle..
I have thought about doing a wallpaper back splash for now. Cause the glass subway tiles won't buy themselves. I found this and think it would be cute for a year or so..
And then we come to this week..
My AC has always been wonky. It really never worked correctly. I have had it serviced and each year the little tubes/pipes on the unit outside develop little icicles and it shuts down. Then I pour hot water over them to melt the ice. This gives us just enough cool air to get through the night. Then it starts all over again. I have never really cared to fix the AC because of the expense of it all. AND we always leave for the entire summer. By the time we would get home from my dad's beach house, the weather would be brutal for a month or so, and then fall would come along just in time to save us..
And now this.
In the Northeren Virginia area the weather has already hit brutal. Last week there was a 90 degree day. IN APRIL. Are ya kidding me? And guess what? MY AC FINALLY DIED. LIKE REALLY DIED...Not the frozen popsicle kind of died, but the whole unit stopped running. It made a sad little humming noise and that was it..
But guess what? The little nest egg I put away for my kitchen cabinets will just barely cover the cost of a new AC unit...Great, just effing great. Now I gotta figure out if I want to have a room suitable for cooking or if I want to spend the summer in my own personal bikram yoga experience.. Sometimes I just have to laugh at my own misfortune.
Thankfully this weekend was cooler than earlier in the week..And having the windows open made it quite nice. But, I know what's coming, and it ain't pretty..So I have a decision to make. My heart is just broken that I can't do the kitchen. But totally happy I don't have to beg the cash off my parents to do the AC..Times like this, I wish I had the kind of job that pays for overtime, and compensates for achievement, offers Christmas bonuses..You know, a real job.
Ok..I can't think about it anymore. I jokingly said I was going to put a paypal button on my Facebook page to see if people would fund my lavish lifestyle..Now, maybe I should put one here. I could really use the extra money, and Momma doesn't want to hit the corner for it! HAHAHAH
Have a great week ya'll..Next week is the Embassy party and I might just be bringing Dadushka..Can't wait to share the details..I am sure there will be press there..
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Shoulda Coulda Woulda
Holy Cow, I should have gone to Law School like I originally planned...I am totally addicted to the Jodi Arias trial..Simply hooked.
This gal stabbed her boyfriend 30 something times, shot him in the head, dragged him down the hall, and then slit his throat from ear to ear..And she sits in court as if she is offended to be there..It's amazing tv. I watch it on my phone on my breaks, and at home...
Google it, it is all over the net..
The other website I found a crazy CakeWreck site that is just hysterical..
http://www.cakewrecks.com/
You have to go look at some of the disasters on this site..The writer is also very funny! After watching the trial yesterday, I spent the evening giggling at the messes that were presented!
This gal stabbed her boyfriend 30 something times, shot him in the head, dragged him down the hall, and then slit his throat from ear to ear..And she sits in court as if she is offended to be there..It's amazing tv. I watch it on my phone on my breaks, and at home...
Google it, it is all over the net..
The other website I found a crazy CakeWreck site that is just hysterical..
http://www.cakewrecks.com/
You have to go look at some of the disasters on this site..The writer is also very funny! After watching the trial yesterday, I spent the evening giggling at the messes that were presented!
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
The Letters are Written
and yet the love is gone..And as sad as that is, ya gotta move on..
So here is my thoughts on it all...Cause NOBODY says it better than John Mayer
So here is my thoughts on it all...Cause NOBODY says it better than John Mayer
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