Donate to your fundraising efforts. If I don't know you, I am not one to just stroke a check. As one mom said, "IF I WANTED SOMETHING FROM 31 I would go buy it cheaper at Ross!!!" I so agree!
Don't get me wrong about charity. I believe in it. And I faithfully give to my Church every month. On many occasions, I may see a cause that I am interested in and I give. I give because my heart is drawn into giving. Adding me to your Facebook list of families who adopted in order to draw on sympathy doesn't work. I am not a sympathetic person in that way.
Adoption is so expensive. But raising a child is just as expensive. Most people I know ended up taking a loan on their house to pay for the adoption. Most people just added a couple of hundred dollars to their mortgage to pay for the upfront costs of adoption. So if you can't do that, and you don't have it in the bank, maybe you should consider adopting a child in the U.S.
I sort of got slammed on a FB page because I said its "Poor Form" to ask for money from other adoptive parents when you don't even know them..I got the "ADOPTION is rescuing a child" response..God's calling and all..BUT NO, adoption was never a calling for me. I didn't do it to be some sort of savior. I don't use adoption as some sort of platform to build points with Jesus..I adopted for ME, to become a mother. I adopted because I wanted to PARENT! I only stay in the adoption world, because I ended up falling in love with Russia. I didn't intend to love Russia. I didn't intend to be connected to it. But I am because of my fond memories and my girlz.
If Orphan Outreach is your platform then great. But the answer is NOT to adopt all the children. The answer is finding a way to educate the people of "Insert country here" to care for their special needs children without turning them into the state like defective products. And when families bring children into our country and ask for endless benefits it kills me..{Gosh I sound cold and harsh} But I can't help it. While doing my own home-study, I had to make provisions for both girlz. Provisions that were in place in case they needed additional medical care. I was told that I couldn't depend on the state and needed a plan in place to make sure I could handle it financially.
If you are wondering why the additional bitterness, I ran into an adoptive mom the other day. She shared a story of a different mom who is getting money for her child to have In-Home therapy for her attachment issues. This family also gets additional money to pay for respite care once a month. The child has been home for 8 years. In my mind, those therapies may have been picked up by the state for a while, but for 8 years?? And respite care after 8 years??
I have just never been one to depend on the state for anything. NADA. It irritates me that my tax dollars pay for this family to relax and go out of town without their child, enjoying their weekends once a month.
I know I sound a lot like Anne Colture, but I can't help it. I don't want to support your family..Where is my hand-out???
The Facebook thread that started this rant was deleted. But I got tons of private messages about my stance. All supporting the position I took.
Again, adoption is not a calling for me. It isn't something that came up while at Church. It was something that I learned about while watching a single friend at Church go through her adoption. This came at a time when I had been giving myself daily shots, taking countless meds, going to the Fertility specialist everyday during my cycle...What she was doing seemed so much more logical. My attempts were not working. I hated fertility treatments. I hated focusing on me and my body that much. I hated my husband as well. I was trying to be forgiving of his indescretions during most of the treatments. Finding out that a woman could adopt alone freed my heart. It gave me a chance to admit that I couldn't forgive him at that time of my life.
Soooooo, my point in all of this is that although I firmly agree that families should reach out to ask for prayer, wise counsel, and donations for the ORPHANAGE, I don't agree that the majority of adoption funding should come from strangers!
So, if I sound like crazy Ann C, I am sorry. I love my adoption friends and would do anything for them. I just don't like the pressure of being put on the spot...
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