Framed

I have begun to re-read the book, the 5 Love Languages of Children again. I started it a couple of times, skimmed it and never really gave the book the credit it deserved. So I have begun again to really put my head and heart into it. What I thought would be crystal clear is starting to be a wee bit cloudy as I try to narrow down each of the love languages of my girlz. Just like the book written about adults, the children's version helps parents to find the keys to that magical question: Does my child feel loved?
(from the cover)



Want to know the secede to making sure your child feels loved?
Kids desperately need to know how much you love them. But if you don't know their special "love languages," you might as well be speaking gibberish. Every child expresses and receives love best through one of the five communication styles.

• Quality Time
• Words of Affirmation
• Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

If your love language is different from your children's you'd better learn to translate-fast. Or you could miss your chance to meet their deepest emotional needs. Discover how to express unconditional feeling of respect, affection and commitment that will resonate in their souls - and inspire them for the rest of their lives.

Sounds good huh? I highly suggest it for adoptive and bio parents. We all do our absolute best to love our children. But if we don't educate ourselves on what our children truly need, then we can't be 100% sure that our hugs and kisses or our gifts or our words are really hitting the mark. It's a chance I don't want to take!

 And because I am saddled with the heaviest case of ADD lately, the book got me thinking about what I show my girlz. Not like TV or movies, but what I DO, and what that is showing them.
Firstly, I smoke. Yes, a dirt bag, disgusting habit. And as soon as I get to Florida, I am quitting again. It's easier there. I mean come on, it's freakin' paradise, everything is easier there. Smoking shows the children that I depend on something dangerous. And I hate that they worry about it's health effects.

 But back to what I am getting at, I am on the computer too much, and that is one area, where I want to ease up on. Given the choice, my girlz love to play outside. It actually is a blessing, as they are out til dark pretty much every night. So it's not as if they would chose to play on the pooter rather than play with friends outside, but both girlz prefer it to, let's say, picking up a book... And I am not showing them the importance of reading. (I read like a crazy person during the summer, but during the school year, not so much)

And that line of thought led me to think about how I am  too much value on the way the girlz look.
I don't pick out their clothes each day, and I am lucky if AugustRose wears underwear to Church, but I question myself because I am forever hanging photographs of the girlz on the walls, and when they are dolled up, I take photos.
So this week, as we are  packing for Florida and cleaning from baseboards to ceilings, I decided to hang up their end of the year testing scores. By the way, my big girl rec'd pass advanced on 3 out of 4 of her state required SOL tests. And in science, she only missed 1 question! Little AugustRose scored nearly perfect on the Pals test. It felt good to show the girlz their framed tests. I want them to know how much I value their schoolwork. I want them to look at those results each day and know that not only does Mommy love a cute smile in a photograph, but Mommy also loves a job well done at school.

I think it is critical to show young girlz that it is not about their looks and the right pose in a photograph. In my eyes, it's never to early to set the bar high and praise them for all of their academic efforts.

              Anni's SOL scores and the medal she rec'd at school for doing so well on the tests.

As I said earlier, I read non-stop in the summer. I love the smell of books, and because I have the time, I crave reading. Normally I read around 10 to 15 books in a summer. The ADD is usually overtaken by OCD and instead of washing my hands a thousand times a day, I read! But the change this year is that I am going to read my own books, and at night I will read to the girlz. We have never read a chapter book aloud as a family. I chose my favorite book George Seldon's Cricket in Times Square as an anchor book. But I won't start with it. We will start with Harry Kitten and Tucker Mouse. Cricket in Times Square will be next. Then Tucker's Countryside.
I look forward to August learning how to listen to a story that doesn't end in one night. I love it when the girlz look at the words as I am reading them. Their eyes following along on the page. At August's age, she will just fast enough to follow, but not fast enough to go ahead of me.
I am going to let the girlz make one diorama at the end of reading all 3 stories. Since each of them connects to the other, it won't be hard to do. And you know lil kids love a project!

It's been a long year, and boy oh boy I am glad it's over! But now, it's a fresh new day, and summer is here, We leave for Florida on Monday so Life is grand!

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