We've really struggled this year. My commute has still been a huge nuisance. I hurry everyday to get myself ready, rush out away from my girlz, only to sit in my van and wait. Wait in an endless line of cars inching our way along. And more than anything, I resent those hours. The 40 or so hours a month alone in my thoughts. Thoughts on my girlz.
I lost my only cousin in the summer, and last month, my dad's only remaining uncle. And those deaths have profoundly impacted my thoughts. I worry more, I am nervous more, and anxious more. Throw in graduate school, and my own personal shortcomings and we are simply ...barely making it.
Next week, I visit a psychiatrist for the first of what I hope is many family visits. You see, all this worry and anxiety has affected my girlz as well..Mainly my littlest stardust angel baby. She is the most troubled by our busy-ness..But I am confident that therapy will help all of us. Cause I must do the right and most healthy thing for my girlz.
I may be painting a down picture, and I don 't want to ...Just being honest. Most of the time, we are good, no, great..But when we are in the dumps, it is epic!
We went to the Gaylord just the three of us. For Easter. To have that magical time with only us..And I can't wait to go to Florida this year. We missed it last year and I honestly think it set our year off on a low note..
Tonight, I said a prayer for us. Because the Greengirlz are Up to Here, and need a little break. Florida cannot come soon enough!
2 comments:
You're on the way to helping by seeking professional help. You do have a heavy load and just keep thinking that summer is coming soon and you'll be off. Are you staying at your father's in FL?
I hope things are going better. Aidan spends that much time in the car, too, and I don't know how he stands it. A couple of years ago, when I had to take Sergei out to a distant school district I was spending over 3 hours a day in the car; it wasn't even healthy. It was a nightmare.
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