Oh No They Didn't...

So I was looking at research on the poor, as it is a huge factor in the success of students, and WOAH! I started finding hundred of articles on single mothers..Diving deeper, I found even more articles on 'WHY MEN SHOULD NEVER DATE SINGLE MOMS'...
I made the mistake and read a few.
Here are some highlights.

Widows are not considered single moms.
Divorced women are not considered single moms.

Single moms are women who have children without the benefit of marriage.

I don't what group I fall into. But clearly these idiot men have actually hit the truth on so many levels..

It's true, I would never have a child without the benefit of marriage. I wouldn't want to share my child with anyone I wasn't willing to marry.

It's true and statistics have shown that given the circumstance, many of the offspring of single mothers are at higher risk of poverty. But guess what? We all are a couple of paychecks away from complete financial devastation!!!

But most important to me, is that there is no research to substantiate what will happen to the offspring who adopt and choose NOT to date. And that is the group I am in.
I refuse to put anyone on the same Love Level as my children. I won't date. Not for me. I put every ounce of my being into working and raising my girlz. They are first in my life, and they know it. The statistics of bringing a man into the home are clear. Sexual abuse is much likelier to happen than if a non-related man does not live with young chidlren. No man is worth that..
Also, I am financially able to live on my own. I can do what I need right by myself..Except for all the things my PARENTS take care of!! HAHAHAHA
Why would I take love away from my chidlren and give it to a man. Hey, Men, Guess What?" I don't need to share my life with you...So get over yourself!

Busy Busy!

So let's just add to the "busy" plate shall we?

I am in grad school. Finally finishing my masters. Of the 24 hours of graduate credit that I have, none of them amount to anything I'd like to really study so I am just finishing with the MS in Early Childhood. I had hoped that at least a few of the classes could transfer into a History Masters, but no..
And I have searched literally every school on the east coast in hopes of finding a program in Russian History or Russian Studies, but everyone of them requires graduate level Russian. No matter how much Pimsleur or Rosetta Stone I do, I just won't be able to write and read in the language.
So I am just doing what is easiest and finishing up with elementary education with a focus on early childhood. I will be finished this year and then I can actually find a history program, and then work on a second masters later on..

Anna's foot is healed and she will begin dance this week. She is only taking tap. Why, you ask? BECAUSE SHE IS  JOINED A SWIM TEAM!!! Am I crazy you ask?? Actually, this time I am not as nervous about the time commitment because the gym where they will swim in not even a 1/2 mile from my house. Oddly an adult fitness center closed and a Kids Choice Gym replaced it. So I can actually be there in about 2 minutes. LOVE IT!!

August is still taking 2 dance classes but they on back to back on one of the days that Anna will swim. So mom will take her to dance, and I will go sweat it out at the pool, I already dread the smell of chorine.

School is tootling along. My 3 new teammates are amazing. They are young and adorable and bring lots of ideas and giggles to the table. My favorite part is that I have the daughter of a co-teacher in my class. I remember when this child was born! Time flies!

Both of my girlz are actually liking school and getting into a nice rhythm of homework and play. Anni has been going to Wednesday night Church since last year, and she is loving that again. Her first school friend goes and takes Anni so I get a little one on one time with Auggie.

I am already looking forward to our trip to NYC. We are taking the train this year just to mix it up. My back hurt so much when we came back from Hershey Park that I am afraid to chance it on another 4 hour drive. Plus, Amtrak is only 300.00 for all 4 of us to go. (mom goes) I haven't found a hotel yet. This year my mom wants to stay somewhere "fancy"..Whatever! Fancy in NYC is over 500.00 a night. The one hotel she really wanted was 1100.00 per night! Uhhmmm, no thank you!

I promised the girlz we would go camping again this year. But this time, we would spend the night. I have a friend who will let us use her tent, but something tells me, I might get a weeee bit nervous in the night. I looked at tear-drop campers online a while back, Cayuuuute! But no way, until I get a nice little savings in the bank, I am not buying anything.

Kitchen is still in process, so  I am just hating my house, but we are sooo close. The countertops are getting put in very soon, and then it's a downhill slide..

So that's us at the beginning of the year. Not too bad!!

A Special Request

I know that everyone who may read this may not be on Facebook, but if you are, I have a request. Please find the page called 

"Prayers For Ellie"

This child is really struggling with a brain disorder that is not actually diagnosed. They have been in and out of the hospital for several years now trying to figure out what is happening. Ellie is the daughter of the operations director and the children's ministry leader at my Church. They have been central in the lives of so many people at New Hope Church. When I came home from Russia with Anna, they were at the airport to greet us. This family adopted a child from Russia using my same agency and in a weird twist, they were the family that encouraged a single lady named Brenda to adopt. At my very first small group meeting, Brenda shared a video of a "referral" of her soon to be baby. I was secretly in the process of ending my marriage, and struggling with the fact that our fertility efforts were over. Brenda walked me through the idea of "single mom adoption" and Voila, here we are!

God works in the most crazy ways. I can't figure out what lesson we should be learning from Ellie's illness. Ellie was absolutely fine until about 2 and half years ago when she had her first seizure. It has rapidly gone down hill and she just left the hospital after an 11 day stay. This stay included brain surgery and a lung biopsy. At this point, she cannot eat/swallow, and is unsteady on her feet. She has 3 brothers and 1 sister and they are amazing in their efforts to keep her upbeat and positive, but her parents are terrified and drained from the amount of medical intervention and treatment required just to find a specific diagnosis. They are inches away from being part of a research study for children with brain conditions and need prayers as they begin that process...

I haven't been to Church all summer. My heart just wasn't in it. I have felt alone and isolated there. But this weekend, For Ellie, I am going back. God works through others to bring us together and I just want to "get over myself" and be at New Hope where I know I can find my way, again.. So take a look and Like the Page:

https://www.facebook.com/prayersforellieschleyer

I am thanking the sweet Lord that I was able to get to Norfolk  this weekend for my sweet Aunt Nancy's memorial..
Got to spend a fabulous weekend with the Bill/Nancy family and it was wonderful! Promise to post pics of my gorgeous family soon..

I am home now to deal with a financial nightmare that has nearly brought me to tears..Let's just say, I am not happy about what has happened with my bank, and because it is a holiday, I can't call or do anything more until Tuesday..Oh yeah, that's the first day of school so I may not be able to do anything then either! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Pray for me friends..I am THISSSSS close to a break down!

Loss

Never dreamed I would be rushing around for a last minute trip to Florida. Never in a million years did I think the expected would actually become the reality.

My only cousin on my mom's side. The son of her baby sister died yesterday. Suddenly. While at home. In her arms. While she tried desperately to bring him back with CPR.
He was gone before the ambulance arrived at the hospital. They worked on him with due diligence but in the end, it wasn't meant to be.

I put my mom on a plane to Tampa, where she drove the 2 additional hours to Gainesville. And now, I am heading to DMV to renew my license, (something I had forgotten all about) taking my dog to the vet, waiting here while the counter tops are being measured, only to get back later in the afternoon for the cable people to come and let me know why it doesn't work in the basement...I will be on a plane at 6 in the morning heading to Florida, to help support my aunt and my mom..
Darren was troubled for most of life. But it didn't stop anyone from loving him.
I wasn't especially close to him, but close to his mother who kept us in the loop about him.

Sometimes I think the poor kid was doomed with all the chaos that was going on in his early years. Then drugs came along, and he was deeply enveloped in a world that no one understood. Only recently after years in prison, and years of rehab, did it seem he was finally on the last legs of recovery. But we won't know for a while if he held fast to his recovery.

I think I am in shock. This is the first death in my family that I didn't see coming. He had lived a risky life for so long, I felt like he was a cat with nine lives. His mom, my mother's baby sister isolated herself in these past few years. She is not in great health, and with Darren, she could truly have a partner, nurse, helper, and friend. It was just the two of them for all these years, and with that comes the trappings of dysfunction on an almost epic level. My aunts heart was in the right place, but her boundaries weren't..

For me, I was most sad when I asked my mom "Isn't there anyone we can call to be with AuntieC until you get there?" and there wasn't. She was alone. Driven back to her home in a cab, only to enter the home where her beloved had just died...Just imagining it, makes me bawl like an infant. I wish there was a service to help the grieving to not be alone. The Jews sit Shiva, and most people who are a part of a Church gather around the family with food, and noise and diversions. Right now all she has is my mother.

My girlz are not going down for the funeral. The tickets to get us all there were 3000.00 and both girlz didn't want to go. This time, I don't think they should. Because of Darren's age, and the fact that I can't say, "He was old and lived a long life" I don't want to scare them. At my Grandmothers funeral, I got up to speak and read a scripture. As soon as I looked at my mother, I burst into tears in front of everyone. Anna yelled out from her seat, "MOOOmmmmmmmyyyy" and my sister and BFF Lee had to take care to settle the girlz down. Cause if momma cries, they cry. And I stood there in front of everyone trying to suck it up and get through my speech. I think I will be a mess at this funeral because of the situation, and I don't think I want to traumatize the girlz. Also, my sister got in from San Fran last night at midnight, and we picked her up, so the girlz are beat tired, and I simply don't have time to gather our stuff for a 6 AM flight. My sister is going to stay with the girlz and both of our dogs..
This is the worst part about being away from family.

Now my Aunt has no one down there, and we are hoping that she will come up here and spend some time. Her fragile health means she needs someone to watch over her, and I am hoping that she will accept my moms offer to come. She probably won't, and if she doesn't, I honestly feel she won't live another year. It's like when couples who have been married forever, and one of them passes away, the other passes away shortly after.

So that is where we are right now. Yesterday morning, my biggest concern was what color to choose for my countertops. Today, it seems ridiculous that I even stressed over it.


Pray for my Aunt if you are a
"Praying Kind of Person"....If not, just send as many positive vibes our way. This is going to be an impossible few days.

Guess What Deliciousness Is in My House?

So, guess what I have????
Ikea came and installed my new cabinets???
Guess who spent too much money and time at IKEA???

THIS GIRL~

And everything that I thought I would want for the floor and counters are out! No patterns for either as the kitchen turned out to be more "sweet" then "Funky" as I expected. So now, I have to consider what I should do...

Here is the view from where you first walk in...

 

 

 

 

This is a view from the other end of the kitchen..

 

 
 
 
This is the only single counter on the opposite side of the kitchen

 

This is the closet that I knocked out to make room for just a few more cabinets.

 

This is the view of my little corner.. You can see that we couldn't tear the walls down to the ceiling, somehow my builder guy told me there were support walls in there and we needed them. Whatever?

 

 

 

 

SO, what you put on the floor? What Would You do for counters??

September Schedules...What's a Mom to do?

I have been on Facebook seeing lots and lots of "classes" that our little ones are involved in lately and it has me thinking, "What's the point?"
Our kids for the most part may have some level of talent in one area or another, but are they really going to be the next Sara Mearns of the NYCBallet? Probably not. Are they so talented in soccer that they will make the Olympic team? Yeah, I am thinking no to that one too..
So all of this taxiing we do and all of this stress we have to get our children to the places they belong, "Is it worth it?" Most kids will end their lessons when finishing high school, so why do it all now? Why not spend that time and money on something that will carry them through adulthood? Hmmm, but what is an activity that will hold them that long? What can a child begin now, that will be useful as an adult?   I darn sure know, it Ain't tap lessons...

I watch a lot of Youtube videos, and what I have learned is that when a child is so self determined, so inwardly driven to do "insert activity" they will do it. They will practice alone when no one is watching. They will be ready and early for the drive. They will live for that activity. And are our kids truly "living" for the activities we put them in? For the most part, I know my girlz love dance. They don't LOVE ballet, but enjoy the fun they have with others. If I had my way, they would only take ballet. I mean really, how many times have you seen a tap dance ANY where except when your child is taking it? What could that tap class possibly teach your child that can extend to another activity..? As you can tell, I loathe tap class. It annoys me.

A new children's gym has opened by my house, and I would love for my girlz to join in there. Anna needs to swim so that she can drop some weight, and August is showing an interest in basketball. I have to look into it as I don't want to add anything rigid to our schedule..

So I wonder today, are there any Science clubs or Math teams out there? That would serve a purpose.  Are there any Computer Teams out there that can teach my girlz to program?

On another note, we have been learning Russian together as a family. We have a CD program and it's fun and easy and we do it in the car. The girlz love it when they can put a Russian word into everyday conversation. We are just beginning but like it none the less.

I am going to go to the new gym down the road today to see what programs they have. It is so close we could almost walk there!