ok..so here are some randoms for ME to remember..
The only difference between a goal and a dream is a TIMELINE.
"Being Happy. Being A Good Mom" Those aren't plans. Everyone wants that..Specific details need to be in place..
The most important part of planning for the future is to establish an image..As in, WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE, HOW DO YOU WANT THE WORLD TO VIEW YOU?
Teaching in Russia. Working in Russia - OUT FOREVER. Not only is there risks associated with being American, I am single and people could think I am lesbian, and TAKE MY CHILDREN.. Yes, I wrote that. Because it's a law in Russia now..
Also, we are past the point of my girlz doing what I want. Anni got accepted into an All Girlz program and looks very forward to it. My girlz cannot be away from our family. I cannot ask them to spend the money just to come see us if we were overseas. PLUS-I can't get a job. Time to move on. This is just a direction I can never go. And although I am sure it's because I have 2 children and no spouse, I would never trade a child or TAKE ON A SPOUSE just to get a job in Russia..
I want to write. So I have to just do it. Teaching can be a means to and end. And If writing is my passion, I may never write a book, or publish it, but I can write it to fulfill my passion..
Ok-More notes later. Just wanted to get this down while it was on my mind.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Christmas
What an amazing Christmas..My aunt Carolyn, (the one who lost her son a few months ago) was scheduled to come up for the holiday, but fell out of her house the week before, and broke her leg and arm..She is in a rehab center and will be there for a bit. Pretty sad. She has had a brain bleed a few years ago, and is so fragile. I just can't wrap my head around her heartache this first holiday without my cousin Darren...But there was nothing we could do to get her here..
My dad is here and we decided NOT to go to the Gaylord or Church this year. It ends up getting so hectic and causes stress, so I cooked a bunch of appetizers and the girlz played in the neighborhood and we all just relaxed...I made a small meal (Wow Go Figure, I cooked!!) and then let the grownups open some gifts. The girlz opened their gifts from each other, and their gift from me..
I always get them new pjs, but this year I got them some bath stuff..We have fallen in love with LUSH, a fabulous company that makes natural stuff...So to give the girlz a treat treat for their Christmas Eve bath, I got them a bath bomb, the Christmas Eve bomb. I also got them a Silver Star bath melt..They were really tickled with this. They love finding special treats like this. What I love is that these products are all natural and NEVER tested on animals.
I premade breakfast casseroles for the fam, and when the girlz got up, we did the grownups stockings, and let "Santa" gifts be opened...I had gotten tons of clearance stuff from Justice and oddly enough, Macy's..They had one of the best sales. I also finally broke down and got the girlz PillowPets lights. Again, on a 20% sale. I saved $14.00 dollars off of each of them..I took that savings and bought a couple of Shared gifts. I got a cotton candy machine and a couple of family games. The girlz opened their gifts and then it was time to give them their Ipads. And it was awesome. Anna wants a keyboard for hers but there are so many different kinds so I didn't get that yet. I found smart pads on ebay with free stylus' and they have been tickled with that. But I am going to get both of them some sort of carrier for them. My sister got them ITunes cards to buy them their favorite games and turns out, because they share the account, when one child buys a game, they both get it!! SCORE!!!
My parents loved the treats we bought for them. I always do those Yankee Candle car in a jar for their stockings, and also get them some sort of silly funny treats..This year I found the perfect keychains for everyone from Coach..HUGE discount at the outlet store. HUGE!
I know that I am dropping several "name-brands" on this post, but honestly I buy this stuff once a year, and have been so impressed with the savings and discounts that were offered this year. From my list of favorites, the only company/retailor/store that I wasn't impressed with was ToysRUs..They never seem to have great storewide discounts. They choose certain products and discount those..The girlz wanted Nerf guns this year and they did offer half off the second gun. So when I went there, I looked about to see what else they had on discount. The headphones were all about 40.oo, uhm no..their Ipad cases all about 40.oo another no...and because my girlz LOVED the movie frozen, I wanted to get some silliness from the movie..They had a small selection but not enough of a savings. So I left TRU with 2 items..
The only other retailor/store that I usually go to at Christmas time is Bath and Body works..Sadly, we aren't going there as we switched over to Lush..The only product they are lacking is a hand soap for daily use. As soon as they develop that, I think they will be complete!!
We are still celebrating and enjoying family time. I am finally getting my house together and putting away things that we are no longer using..Bye Bye American Girl..You are going into the attic!
OHHHH, I finished this semester and got A's in my courses. WHew, what a huge relief. I start my next round of classes in a week, so I am gearing up for a whole lot more reading!
So happppy holiday my friends. Enjoy your time with family and friends!
My dad is here and we decided NOT to go to the Gaylord or Church this year. It ends up getting so hectic and causes stress, so I cooked a bunch of appetizers and the girlz played in the neighborhood and we all just relaxed...I made a small meal (Wow Go Figure, I cooked!!) and then let the grownups open some gifts. The girlz opened their gifts from each other, and their gift from me..
I always get them new pjs, but this year I got them some bath stuff..We have fallen in love with LUSH, a fabulous company that makes natural stuff...So to give the girlz a treat treat for their Christmas Eve bath, I got them a bath bomb, the Christmas Eve bomb. I also got them a Silver Star bath melt..They were really tickled with this. They love finding special treats like this. What I love is that these products are all natural and NEVER tested on animals.
I premade breakfast casseroles for the fam, and when the girlz got up, we did the grownups stockings, and let "Santa" gifts be opened...I had gotten tons of clearance stuff from Justice and oddly enough, Macy's..They had one of the best sales. I also finally broke down and got the girlz PillowPets lights. Again, on a 20% sale. I saved $14.00 dollars off of each of them..I took that savings and bought a couple of Shared gifts. I got a cotton candy machine and a couple of family games. The girlz opened their gifts and then it was time to give them their Ipads. And it was awesome. Anna wants a keyboard for hers but there are so many different kinds so I didn't get that yet. I found smart pads on ebay with free stylus' and they have been tickled with that. But I am going to get both of them some sort of carrier for them. My sister got them ITunes cards to buy them their favorite games and turns out, because they share the account, when one child buys a game, they both get it!! SCORE!!!
My parents loved the treats we bought for them. I always do those Yankee Candle car in a jar for their stockings, and also get them some sort of silly funny treats..This year I found the perfect keychains for everyone from Coach..HUGE discount at the outlet store. HUGE!
I know that I am dropping several "name-brands" on this post, but honestly I buy this stuff once a year, and have been so impressed with the savings and discounts that were offered this year. From my list of favorites, the only company/retailor/store that I wasn't impressed with was ToysRUs..They never seem to have great storewide discounts. They choose certain products and discount those..The girlz wanted Nerf guns this year and they did offer half off the second gun. So when I went there, I looked about to see what else they had on discount. The headphones were all about 40.oo, uhm no..their Ipad cases all about 40.oo another no...and because my girlz LOVED the movie frozen, I wanted to get some silliness from the movie..They had a small selection but not enough of a savings. So I left TRU with 2 items..
The only other retailor/store that I usually go to at Christmas time is Bath and Body works..Sadly, we aren't going there as we switched over to Lush..The only product they are lacking is a hand soap for daily use. As soon as they develop that, I think they will be complete!!
We are still celebrating and enjoying family time. I am finally getting my house together and putting away things that we are no longer using..Bye Bye American Girl..You are going into the attic!
OHHHH, I finished this semester and got A's in my courses. WHew, what a huge relief. I start my next round of classes in a week, so I am gearing up for a whole lot more reading!
So happppy holiday my friends. Enjoy your time with family and friends!
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Wow...
Just completing my semester in grad school..Whew! Lot's harder than I anticipated. Christmas is in a few days and I am pretty much set where that is concerned. Shshshshs, don't want to give any secrets away!
Been doing research on becoming a Court Appointed Guardian Ad Litem. It's a very long process and the first part is a lot of reading. I have my paperwork, and looking into which court system would be most appropriate for me. Some are closer, but require more, some are farther but actually pay more..So just working it out. The masters must be in hand before I take this on though! Through this process, I have read a lot of nonsense that I have a hard time wrapping me head around.
As a mother who doesn't have to share her babies with anyone, I honestly don't know how to handle reading about alleged situations that involve abuse, crime, neglect, and substance issues. Add a basic willingness to do the least amount of parenting and you have a real mess in the courts.
One area that specifically touched my heart was the area of child support. I knew there was a formula that is in play, but what I didn't know was that if both parties agree, amounts can be adjusted up or down.
What I still don't understand is what I have termed,
"the walk."
This is the move where one of the parents simply walks away from all financial responsibility of raising a child. They continue to live their life, and don't look back. I think those parents don't realize that one day, that child is going to grow up and become an adult. That adult child is going to say, "What the hell? Why didn't you help?" and no amount of, "Oh honey your XXX didn't need help." is going to work. That adult child is going to remember that you didn't bother with what really mattered, which is helping the custodial parent..
So let's take a look at the most basic level of care that a non custodial parent can provide....
What kind of parent leaves a child's welfare up to one parent? Is it fair for women to say, "He has more money so he can handle the burden of caring for the children in all manners financial." How is it that if the father has full custody the mothers don't bother to pay Anything?
Really, if you have a child, you know what it takes to raise a child..Let's start with the basic 3, (Food, Clothing, and Shelter)
Shelter is a hard one. How do you put an amount on what a Non Custodial Parent should pay?
You have to consider what it takes to run that household. Mortgage, electricity, water, cable, phone, etc...What? maybe each child theoretically uses 75.00 per month on these..We can super lowball that in half and it's 37.50
And then there is food. Kids eat like little piglets. Always hungry, always nibbling. I have to imagine that kids eat at least 100.00 worth of food in a month, so lets divide that in half. So a lowball estimate, 50.00
Then there is clothing. Depending on the age of the child, I can safely estimate that at 75.00 per month..So that is 37.50
*But not in the mix are the gagillions of other things that kiddos need. Club dues, t-shirts, field trip money, movie money, haircuts, co-pays at the doctor and dentists, and prescriptions. Then you have to add in all the gas money the custodial parent spends running that child around. So even though we all know it's way more, lets put a figure on this area as 75.00, that would be a whopping 37.50
Ok, so let's add it up..
37.50
50.00
37.50
37.50
_____________
162.50 Total
I mean really, in a month we all know that ONE child can use up more than that on food, but I was being super conservative. If you can't scurry up that for one child, you really don't deserve to call yourself a parent. I mean come on, I bet you spend that kind of money on your phone or cable bill..Or eating out and going to bars. You need to hit the corner, or start selling plasma if you don't have that much to give for one child.
OH WAIT, you say to yourself, but what if I have more than one child? Then I say, the custodial parent is probably cursing your name, cause they are paycheck to paycheck since your not pulling your weight..2 kids, that's 325.oo a month.....3 kids, 487.50....4 kids, 650.00....5 kids, 812.50...
What I hear a lot is the parent who is paying the child support saying, "They spend that money on themselves." Really? You have a boatload of kids and aren't paying diddly squat yet you are worried that your X is buying Ferrari's on your dime..GET OVER YOURSELF!!!
Think about all the single parents out there who are making it with NO HELP>>>
(If you are paying the amount above per child, or less; then I am pulling out my DIRTBAG card and handing it to you.)
So parents, I'd like to throw out a little free advice, raise up that CS payment or you will truly pay later.
Been doing research on becoming a Court Appointed Guardian Ad Litem. It's a very long process and the first part is a lot of reading. I have my paperwork, and looking into which court system would be most appropriate for me. Some are closer, but require more, some are farther but actually pay more..So just working it out. The masters must be in hand before I take this on though! Through this process, I have read a lot of nonsense that I have a hard time wrapping me head around.
As a mother who doesn't have to share her babies with anyone, I honestly don't know how to handle reading about alleged situations that involve abuse, crime, neglect, and substance issues. Add a basic willingness to do the least amount of parenting and you have a real mess in the courts.
One area that specifically touched my heart was the area of child support. I knew there was a formula that is in play, but what I didn't know was that if both parties agree, amounts can be adjusted up or down.
What I still don't understand is what I have termed,
"the walk."
This is the move where one of the parents simply walks away from all financial responsibility of raising a child. They continue to live their life, and don't look back. I think those parents don't realize that one day, that child is going to grow up and become an adult. That adult child is going to say, "What the hell? Why didn't you help?" and no amount of, "Oh honey your XXX didn't need help." is going to work. That adult child is going to remember that you didn't bother with what really mattered, which is helping the custodial parent..
So let's take a look at the most basic level of care that a non custodial parent can provide....
What kind of parent leaves a child's welfare up to one parent? Is it fair for women to say, "He has more money so he can handle the burden of caring for the children in all manners financial." How is it that if the father has full custody the mothers don't bother to pay Anything?
Really, if you have a child, you know what it takes to raise a child..Let's start with the basic 3, (Food, Clothing, and Shelter)
Shelter is a hard one. How do you put an amount on what a Non Custodial Parent should pay?
You have to consider what it takes to run that household. Mortgage, electricity, water, cable, phone, etc...What? maybe each child theoretically uses 75.00 per month on these..We can super lowball that in half and it's 37.50
And then there is food. Kids eat like little piglets. Always hungry, always nibbling. I have to imagine that kids eat at least 100.00 worth of food in a month, so lets divide that in half. So a lowball estimate, 50.00
Then there is clothing. Depending on the age of the child, I can safely estimate that at 75.00 per month..So that is 37.50
*But not in the mix are the gagillions of other things that kiddos need. Club dues, t-shirts, field trip money, movie money, haircuts, co-pays at the doctor and dentists, and prescriptions. Then you have to add in all the gas money the custodial parent spends running that child around. So even though we all know it's way more, lets put a figure on this area as 75.00, that would be a whopping 37.50
Ok, so let's add it up..
37.50
50.00
37.50
37.50
_____________
162.50 Total
I mean really, in a month we all know that ONE child can use up more than that on food, but I was being super conservative. If you can't scurry up that for one child, you really don't deserve to call yourself a parent. I mean come on, I bet you spend that kind of money on your phone or cable bill..Or eating out and going to bars. You need to hit the corner, or start selling plasma if you don't have that much to give for one child.
OH WAIT, you say to yourself, but what if I have more than one child? Then I say, the custodial parent is probably cursing your name, cause they are paycheck to paycheck since your not pulling your weight..2 kids, that's 325.oo a month.....3 kids, 487.50....4 kids, 650.00....5 kids, 812.50...
What I hear a lot is the parent who is paying the child support saying, "They spend that money on themselves." Really? You have a boatload of kids and aren't paying diddly squat yet you are worried that your X is buying Ferrari's on your dime..GET OVER YOURSELF!!!
Think about all the single parents out there who are making it with NO HELP>>>
(If you are paying the amount above per child, or less; then I am pulling out my DIRTBAG card and handing it to you.)
So parents, I'd like to throw out a little free advice, raise up that CS payment or you will truly pay later.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
I have so much to share about NYC. But I have a paper due, and I am just starting it today. So the details will have to wait. What I will share is that mom and the girlz and I had a blast. Pedi cabs, Dylan's Candy Bar, Pappabubble, Frozen, Time Square, Rock Center, the Parade, Bloomingdales, the bus ride to and from, Starlight Diner, Lil' Italy, China Town,(As Auggie calls it, JapanTown) were all amazing.
I got a killer deal on 2 NorthFace coats at Bloomies, I saved 70.00!! And we got the ones both girlz wanted. The other happy happy was that we could see the parade from our room! AMAZE!!! We did go to the parade though..Stayed long enough to see the DUCK DYnasty crew and a few others..
It was just blissful. Time with my girlz and Mom..just doesn't get better!
I got a killer deal on 2 NorthFace coats at Bloomies, I saved 70.00!! And we got the ones both girlz wanted. The other happy happy was that we could see the parade from our room! AMAZE!!! We did go to the parade though..Stayed long enough to see the DUCK DYnasty crew and a few others..
It was just blissful. Time with my girlz and Mom..just doesn't get better!
Saturday, November 23, 2013
On a Side Note..
Can you imagine how long it's been since writing APA style and citing endless sources? A while.
I have come to remember hanging indents, running headers, and the APA handbook...and they are now my new best friends!
I have enjoyed pushing myself in this way. I used to write scholarly texts in an awesome sort of way, but blogging, texting, tweeting, and facebook have sunk my skills to an all time LOW~ re-learning is often pretty meaningful.
And on another note. Do you ever get the sense that there are 2 groups of people.
Group 1 is the smallest, and consists of people who learn their lessons pretty quickly. Maybe they didn't at one point, and something traumatic or painful pushed them into this group.
Group 2 is where I think a large percentage of people fall..
I mean come on, are you still thinking he will change?
Is he really going to leave his wife for you?
OH,,I see, NOW you know how to successfully drink and drive. NOW, after your 3rd DUI you all LEARNED UP!
OK, so you are always broke, and owe people money? So that big new toy in your front yard? I guess you needed that "insert whatever high priced item you see fit"..
Right....your bullshit job that pays you nothing is important to you, never the mind that it doesn't cover your bills...
So tell me again. Why are you going out to dinner or movies when you owe everybody and their brother?
Ohhhh, I get it. Calling me "Dude" in an apology letter makes you all of the sudden credible.
I am surrounded in life with people who make the right decisions and are with me in group 1. But there are those on the fringe that I have to laugh at. We have all told them. We have all shaken our heads slowly up and down with our mouths wide open as they share about this new "thing" they just bought..(cringing at the fact that they never did pay ya back the money they owe..)
and for the record. It took me a long time to get out of that group. But after learning my lessons, I happily swim in the "got it pond."
I have come to remember hanging indents, running headers, and the APA handbook...and they are now my new best friends!
I have enjoyed pushing myself in this way. I used to write scholarly texts in an awesome sort of way, but blogging, texting, tweeting, and facebook have sunk my skills to an all time LOW~ re-learning is often pretty meaningful.
And on another note. Do you ever get the sense that there are 2 groups of people.
Group 1 is the smallest, and consists of people who learn their lessons pretty quickly. Maybe they didn't at one point, and something traumatic or painful pushed them into this group.
Group 2 is where I think a large percentage of people fall..
I mean come on, are you still thinking he will change?
Is he really going to leave his wife for you?
OH,,I see, NOW you know how to successfully drink and drive. NOW, after your 3rd DUI you all LEARNED UP!
OK, so you are always broke, and owe people money? So that big new toy in your front yard? I guess you needed that "insert whatever high priced item you see fit"..
Right....your bullshit job that pays you nothing is important to you, never the mind that it doesn't cover your bills...
So tell me again. Why are you going out to dinner or movies when you owe everybody and their brother?
Ohhhh, I get it. Calling me "Dude" in an apology letter makes you all of the sudden credible.
I am surrounded in life with people who make the right decisions and are with me in group 1. But there are those on the fringe that I have to laugh at. We have all told them. We have all shaken our heads slowly up and down with our mouths wide open as they share about this new "thing" they just bought..(cringing at the fact that they never did pay ya back the money they owe..)
and for the record. It took me a long time to get out of that group. But after learning my lessons, I happily swim in the "got it pond."
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Checking in..
I haven't been run over by a truck, nor have I run away from home..
GRADUATE SCHOOL
PARENTING
TEACHING
NUFF SAID..
I have a required blog from one of my graduate classes that I have been working on..
Everything I have on there is a required entry, so it takes me a week to get the info published. Take a look if you please..
www.chaosandglueguns.blogspot.com/
GRADUATE SCHOOL
PARENTING
TEACHING
NUFF SAID..
I have a required blog from one of my graduate classes that I have been working on..
Everything I have on there is a required entry, so it takes me a week to get the info published. Take a look if you please..
www.chaosandglueguns.blogspot.com/
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Another Krap Sandwich That Has Wrecked My Orphan Sunday...
Clearly I am in the throws of a midlife crisis..
If you could see the chaos in my house, my general life anxiety, the pain of what I think is the dreaded return of H-Pylori, you'd say, "Maybe your life is a mess, and it's not the midlife crisis."
But I forgot to remind you that I am in graduate school. And the courses move quickly. I forgot to share that what I thought was a grant approved program, is not. Meaning, the program does not qualify for the 20K I just accepted. Because I work in a Title 1school, I was supposed to be able to teach for 5 years and the dreaded 20K would disappear. Well over the weekend I received notice that I do not meet the requirement for the grant. You see, I don't teach science or math, I am not a reading specialist..WTF? You morons deciding on the grant, I TEACH ALL OF THOSE THINGS!!! So now, after working my tail off, I have to figure out this equation.
Help me won't you?
I will get a raise of around 2300. for earning my masters. (I already receive the +15 stipend).
The masters will cost OVER 26K.and that doesn't include my time commitment. It doesn't include the amount of anxiety I have over learning the SAME SHIT, I have known for 23 years!!! (Excuse my language, I am horrified today..)
I can retire in 9 years. 9 X 2300.oo = 20, 700.00
Is it worth it? Does the amount of work I am pouring into this program equal the pay raise? Now, lets' not forget that NOW THAT MY SCHOOL HAS DEEMED me ineligible for the TEACHgrant, I have to pay back the entire amount with interest. HELL NO!!!
So this winds me back to my original position.
Is this my breaking point? Or is this a plain and simply ole fashioned mid life crisis?
Do I walk on my graduate program? (A program that, BTW I was not truly interested in) We all know I want to actually learn something new. I want to study overseas, I want to learn Russian History...
Honestly, I don't want a red corvette, I don't want a young a fabulous boy toy..Ya know what I want? I want the world to make sense. I want to learn NEW information when I am paying 2500. per course, I want Kanye to fall off a bridge, I want Putin to be caught in a glorious homosexual fiasco, I want Ted Cruz and his crazy ass father, Rafael Cruz to stop acting like they represent ANYONE in this country..And they can join Kanye on the edge of that bridge, I'll push 'em..
AAAAhhh, let the world make sense. Let me be in the moment again. Let me be that girl who wasn't afraid to take the biggest leap of faith and adopt..Twice,... Lord, I beg you to help me find my way. Cause friends, this weekend's Krap Sandwhich has really thrown a hitch in my giddy-up!
BUT LOOK, I finally have a school picture without a double chin...
That's something!!
*If anyone points out that one eye is bigger than the other one, I will ask Kanye to go get you, and then I will push you all off the bridge!
If you could see the chaos in my house, my general life anxiety, the pain of what I think is the dreaded return of H-Pylori, you'd say, "Maybe your life is a mess, and it's not the midlife crisis."
But I forgot to remind you that I am in graduate school. And the courses move quickly. I forgot to share that what I thought was a grant approved program, is not. Meaning, the program does not qualify for the 20K I just accepted. Because I work in a Title 1school, I was supposed to be able to teach for 5 years and the dreaded 20K would disappear. Well over the weekend I received notice that I do not meet the requirement for the grant. You see, I don't teach science or math, I am not a reading specialist..WTF? You morons deciding on the grant, I TEACH ALL OF THOSE THINGS!!! So now, after working my tail off, I have to figure out this equation.
Help me won't you?
I will get a raise of around 2300. for earning my masters. (I already receive the +15 stipend).
The masters will cost OVER 26K.and that doesn't include my time commitment. It doesn't include the amount of anxiety I have over learning the SAME SHIT, I have known for 23 years!!! (Excuse my language, I am horrified today..)
I can retire in 9 years. 9 X 2300.oo = 20, 700.00
Is it worth it? Does the amount of work I am pouring into this program equal the pay raise? Now, lets' not forget that NOW THAT MY SCHOOL HAS DEEMED me ineligible for the TEACHgrant, I have to pay back the entire amount with interest. HELL NO!!!
So this winds me back to my original position.
Is this my breaking point? Or is this a plain and simply ole fashioned mid life crisis?
Do I walk on my graduate program? (A program that, BTW I was not truly interested in) We all know I want to actually learn something new. I want to study overseas, I want to learn Russian History...
Honestly, I don't want a red corvette, I don't want a young a fabulous boy toy..Ya know what I want? I want the world to make sense. I want to learn NEW information when I am paying 2500. per course, I want Kanye to fall off a bridge, I want Putin to be caught in a glorious homosexual fiasco, I want Ted Cruz and his crazy ass father, Rafael Cruz to stop acting like they represent ANYONE in this country..And they can join Kanye on the edge of that bridge, I'll push 'em..
AAAAhhh, let the world make sense. Let me be in the moment again. Let me be that girl who wasn't afraid to take the biggest leap of faith and adopt..Twice,... Lord, I beg you to help me find my way. Cause friends, this weekend's Krap Sandwhich has really thrown a hitch in my giddy-up!
BUT LOOK, I finally have a school picture without a double chin...
That's something!!
*If anyone points out that one eye is bigger than the other one, I will ask Kanye to go get you, and then I will push you all off the bridge!
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