On a Side Note..

Can you imagine how long it's been since writing APA style and citing endless sources? A while.

I have come to remember hanging indents, running headers, and the APA handbook...and they are now my new best friends!
I have enjoyed pushing myself in this way. I used to write scholarly texts in an awesome sort of way, but blogging, texting, tweeting, and facebook have sunk my skills to an all time LOW~ re-learning is often pretty meaningful.

And on another note. Do you ever get the sense that there are 2 groups of people.
Group 1 is the smallest, and consists of people who learn their lessons pretty quickly. Maybe they didn't at one point, and something traumatic or painful pushed them into this group.

Group 2 is where I think a large percentage of people fall..
I mean come on, are you still thinking he will change?
Is he really going to leave his wife for you?
OH,,I see, NOW you know how to successfully drink and drive. NOW, after your 3rd DUI you all LEARNED UP!
OK, so you are always broke, and owe people money? So that big new toy in your front yard? I guess you needed that "insert whatever high priced item you see fit"..
Right....your bullshit job that pays you nothing is important to you, never the mind that it doesn't cover your bills...
So tell me again. Why are you going out to dinner or movies when you owe everybody and their brother?

Ohhhh, I get it. Calling me "Dude" in an apology letter makes you all of the sudden credible.

I am surrounded in life with people who make the right decisions and are with me in group 1. But there are those on the fringe that I have to laugh at. We have all told them. We have all shaken our heads slowly up and down with our mouths wide open as they share about this new "thing" they just bought..(cringing at the fact that they never did pay ya back the money they owe..)

and for the record. It took me a long time to get out of that group. But after learning my lessons, I happily swim in the "got it pond."

Checking in..

I haven't been run over by a truck, nor have I run away from home..

GRADUATE SCHOOL
PARENTING
TEACHING

NUFF SAID..

I have a required blog from one of my graduate classes that I have been working on..
Everything I have on there is a required entry, so it takes me a week to get the info published. Take a look if you please..
www.chaosandglueguns.blogspot.com/

Another Krap Sandwich That Has Wrecked My Orphan Sunday...

Clearly I am in the throws of a midlife crisis..
If you could see the chaos in my house, my general life anxiety, the pain of what I think is the dreaded return of H-Pylori, you'd say, "Maybe your life is a mess, and it's not the midlife crisis."
But I forgot to remind you that I am in graduate school. And the courses move quickly. I forgot to share that what I thought was a grant approved program, is not. Meaning, the program does not qualify for the 20K I just accepted. Because I work in a Title 1school, I was supposed to be able to teach for 5 years and the dreaded 20K would disappear. Well over the weekend I received notice that I do not meet the requirement for the grant. You see, I don't teach science or math, I am not a reading specialist..WTF? You morons deciding on the grant, I TEACH ALL OF THOSE THINGS!!! So now, after working my tail off, I have to figure out this equation.
Help me won't you?

I will get a raise of around 2300. for earning my masters. (I already receive the +15 stipend).
The masters will cost OVER 26K.and that doesn't include my time commitment. It doesn't include the amount of anxiety I have over learning the SAME SHIT, I have known for 23 years!!! (Excuse my language, I am horrified today..)
I can retire in 9 years.   9 X 2300.oo = 20, 700.00
Is it worth it? Does the amount of work I am pouring into this program equal the pay raise? Now, lets' not forget that NOW THAT MY SCHOOL HAS DEEMED me ineligible  for the TEACHgrant, I have to pay back the entire amount with interest. HELL NO!!!

So this winds me back to my original position.
Is this my breaking point? Or is this a plain and simply ole fashioned mid life crisis?
Do I walk on my graduate  program? (A program that, BTW I was not truly interested in) We all know I want to actually learn something new. I want to study overseas, I want to learn Russian History...

Honestly, I don't want a red corvette, I don't want a young a fabulous boy toy..Ya know what I want? I want the world to make sense. I want to learn NEW information when I am paying 2500. per course, I want Kanye to fall off a bridge, I want Putin to be caught in a glorious homosexual fiasco, I want Ted Cruz and his crazy ass father, Rafael Cruz to stop acting like they represent ANYONE in this country..And they can join Kanye on the edge of that bridge, I'll push 'em..


AAAAhhh, let the world make sense. Let me be in the moment again. Let me be that girl who wasn't afraid to take the biggest leap of faith and adopt..Twice,... Lord, I beg you to help me find my way. Cause friends, this weekend's Krap Sandwhich has really thrown a hitch in my giddy-up!


BUT LOOK, I finally have a school picture without a double chin...


That's something!!

*If anyone points out that one eye is bigger than the other one, I will ask Kanye to go get you, and then I will push you all off the bridge!

CrapSandwich

I guess my horribly biting post about EBT cards at 7-11 isn't going to happen. I have written it twice, and both times, I lost it due to a pooter malfunction.
So here is what I wanted to say in a few phrases...

7-11, dirtbag lady with fancy shoes, boatloads of children with even fancier shoes, buys oodles of junk food then pays with and EBT card. Then comes back with cash to buy blunts...Leaving her many chidlren outside on the curb.
Me furious, go home and look up EBT cards. Get more furious. End of story.


Not as witty or biting without complete sentences. But you get the point.

And there is this...

Soooo, there is a touch more DELICIOUSNESS in this house! A counter top!!!

After living like the Ingalls family for months, we now have running water, a new sink, and a FABOO counter top..

Now, to clarify, the only thing in my kitchen that actually matches what I originally thought I wanted, are the cabinets. Nothing I have done since then seems to go along with them..
I had investigated, searched, shopped and thought I found the best deal on counter tops. The quartz ending up being ....wait for it..... 4800.oo smackers! And on the day I planned to go and give them the down payment, I called my mom and said, "I CAN"T DO IT"...I just couldn't. It seemed so outrageous to spend that kind of money on one thing..
So I had to start over in my counter top quest. I ended up going to a shop and honestly looking at one slab and said, "Do It.."
And as it turned out, I love it..
It is granite. Which I thought I hated. But it has a lot of movement to the pattern, and it looks more like marble than granite.

My new double sink is lovely as well..AND my new faucet, Perfect..

So now I have to decide on the back splash. NOTHING I had planned will work. I had originally thought of having a very "still" counter top so that I could have a wild back splash..So now I have to figure out what will go with my new counters...

I am just beginning my new search and found these lovely options at Home Depot. Not sure if any of them work. The patterns sort of work against the counters..What I do know is that I LOVE my new stuff!!!

Still Learning

Can you remember back to the time where you were a teenager and your parents made you sick? Literally, sick. The sound of my mother's voice could send my into a tyrannical rage. I usually heard it early on a Saturday morning. Screaming at me to gather the dirty dishes from my room. To gather the dirty laundry..I would squeeze the pillow tightly around my ears and beg that she would somehow magically, miraculously drop dead in the kitchen. And I could sleep. Alone in my filthy teenage bedroom...

And now, at 45 I am ever so thankful to hear my parents voice. Everyday hearing my mom. And almost as much, hearing my dad..And after all this time, I enjoy their company. I enjoy listening to their crazy Republican political opinions. I love hearing each of them in their own way try to guide me through the difficult life decisions I make for my girlz and for myself..
They have been true to me. True to their job title. They are parents. Not my friends, not my equal, but my mom and dad. I can only offer, "yes ma'am and No Sir" as an homage to the respect I feel for them. At my age, they know they can't tell me what to do, only encourage..

But what I have learned over the past couple of years, is that they haven't let me down. And they have helped me tremendously. They have reached out to help others, simply because it was for me. For that I thank them both.

I have made some pretty serious choices in relationships that were not only dangerous and hurtful, but predictable. As both of my parents tried to teach me from a young age, "You really should help people, but not to the extent it will hurt you." And it seems that most of the time, I have done that very thing. I have put myself behind a decision that only ended up hurting. BUT, the practical side of me has never let it hurt too deeply.


Most of the time I have seen crazy coming..But I don't always remember:
"When someone shows you who they are, Believe Them.." But I am learning....

5 Fall Favorites

Hevel told Nellie and now I am inclined to do the same...So what are 5

I am loving right now?


1)   I adore Diana Taurasi. She is an WNBA basketball player. She went to UConn and she was part of the team that won 3 national championships. She was drafted to play for Phoenix. And until this week, I had never heard of her. She was the player who had a little shoving match on the court and then leaned in to kiss the other player. Seemed way out of line when I first saw the video clip. Now after endlessly googling and youtubing, I learned that she and that other player have played together since they were little girlz. And they are friends. Why am I so infatuated with this lady? She plays in Russia for 7 months out of the year...Yep. Now she can do no wrong!!!

2) Knowing that my class is in planning mode for our trip to the pumpkin patch. This trip is the most fun trip in the world.  And yes, there is kettle corn, yes, we get to bring home a pumpkin, and yes they have calves and baby goats! LLLLOOOOVVVEEEE

3)  My countertops will be installed in a week. We have lived like the Ingalls family with no kitchen sink for nearly two months. I finally narrowed down the choices and just said, DO IT!

4) My new sofa..AugustRose and my mom found a cool sofa a while back. My mom had it recovered to match my grandmother's chair..It's awesome!!

5) My dog's new haircut is growing out in a way that makes her look like a proper dog and not  a bath mat...