Tutu's

 

Saturday is the big day..Tech rehearsal yesterday..And now we prep!!

Spoiled

I mentioned earlier that my dad sold his beach house. And now, on my last day of school I am finding myself terribly sad about it. I have always gone to the beach with my girlz  in the summer. I have always removed myself from my "real life" and headed to a make believe life of fabulous wonder...And now, I am staying home and teaching summer school.

Spoiled? Yeah, I think so..

Trauma?

For some unholy reason, I am up at 6 in the morning..
And that has given me some time to sit  and ponder.
I think we should all ponder every now and again. It's good for the soul.
For me, I have been thinking a lot about trauma.
And not for my daughters as of yet. I don't know if I am being naïve or if I am just ignoring the inevitable, but I don't think my girlz are going to suffer as a result of their being adopted. As I have shared before, I am from a pretty tiny small farming town in Florida and I personally grew up with 6 friends in my direct peer group who were adopted. At that time, all of the adoptions in Florida happened with the help of Children's Home Society, not international and all at infancy.
Of those friends, I know that 2 of them have done searches for their birth family and found them. Those 2 friends had very successful results and have found an additional layer of family that they are happy to join.  The others haven't been interested in birth family searches.
What I wonder is what makes an adoptee want to search, or not.

Next year I will be a part of a group of teachers who will do a trauma study and I am hoping that the information and research will be applicable to adoption. I have never been one to assume that because my girlz were adopted that they endured trauma. I just don't buy it. Additionally, I am in the small group of people who didn't see them suffering in their orphanages.

I understand that there could have been more care, more attention, more touching, more one to one interaction. But that is the case with many bio families. I have seen it with my own eyes after 23 years in the classroom! I don't want anyone to think I am saying that orphanages are great places, I am just saying that Anna was given special care. Her caregiver wrote me letters after the adoption, so I know she was loved and cared for while in the orphanage. August was a wee bit older, and had a rigid schedule with lots of therapies and one on one interaction. Even if it was in a therapeutic setting, she was given face time and that added to her feelings of being cared for. Just as my students are. I know that some of my very students have a sense of "being loved" even if it's just during the day.
Some adoptive parents consider the "transition" from orphanage to adoptive parents as the trauma. Again, I just don't see it.
Anna who cried every time she saw me walk into her room at the orphanage stopped crying the moment we got into the car to leave. She clung to me like a spider monkey, and from that moment on, she looked to me as the person who made her STOP crying and not vice versa. Sorry for the picture quality. It just shows that Anni stopped crying. And if you look close, you can see I started crying. Tears of absolute joy. A b s o l u t e...

will continue next time...

Winding Down...

12 More Days until Summer. And I cannot wait. On a discouraging note, We had to put off our Disney Trip. We are bummed about it, but our offer of free dining starts at the end of September and I am just too worried to spend all that money on the food if we go in the summer.   I am still doing my kitchen, so I just can't make both work. We are thinking of spending Christmas at WDW. It seems so exciting, and we would save 700.oo a person on free dining, Win-Win!

So now we can plan some fun local trips. We are already set to go to Kings Dominion. I have a couple of free tix from my union, and my sister is taking a group of school students so we can do that on the cheap.  I am also planning a trip to Hershey Park. We have never been there so it should be a good time. And who doesn't love a town based solely on the chocolate bar!

Right now we are gearing up for recital season at our dance studio. We had pictures recently and although I normally don't like makeup for my girlz, it does really enhance their pale winter faces..

My camera died during Anni's picture time, so we have a sweet lil' pic of Auggie. She is so sweet in this pic.You cannot imagine how hard it was to get lipstick on those tiny little lips. I actually had to lay her down on my bed so I could line her mouth without having any movement!!

We have 3 dances for each girl in 2 different shows. Yeah, I am inhaling deep as I think about that looong day. The good news is that I will be out of school for the stage rehearsals and the actual shows.

 

 

I have been thinking about all the appointments I can catch up on during the summer.

 

*Dentist for all

*Physical Therapy for my back

*My ObGyn Yearly Exam, except I'm not really sure what they will check,

*Mammogram

 

 

This will be the first year since I became a mother that I won't be in Florida. And there is a huge sense of sadness that is lingering in my mind. I could spend the summer at Dad's river house, but it's not the same. And I really need to work this year. Although I will miss the beach terribly, I think my practical side tells me to "get over myself" and do what I need to do so that I am not put in a financial bind. Dad will visit and we can spend time at our pool, so it will be fine. The key is that we relax in the summer. I need to spend all of my time focusing on all the motherly things that are difficult during the year.

 

We aren't the type to schedule a million activities to keep my girlz busy. The beauty of both of my girlz is that they are very keen on handing out. I learned very early that it isn't going to "insert theme park/water park/movie/special place that costs money" that brings the most joy to my girlz. Honestly, it's just being together. I have said it a million times, we do it old school. Playing in the neighborhood with school friends is the highlight of the weekend, so having the chance to do that everyday will be awesome for my girlz.

 

I think we all have friends who can barely deal with their kids on a regular Saturday. These families are the ones who spend every waking hour searching for ways to entertain their little ones, so they don't have to.  It's funny that I did that one year, and I was never more miserable. What I found out later was that the girlz were fine to go, but told me, "We did it to make you happy."  And my heart broke. I thought they really wanted to be that busy.. I say these families are addicted to activity, and the children have no idea how to entertain themselves. And that leads to these addicted children saying, "I'm BORED!" a million times a day. And the worst part is that as these children get older, they can list every activity they'd like to do. Most of them cost money.

 

I got some great advice years ago. The mom said, "Don't buy something big or enroll your kids into an activity unless they beg you for it for a year!" She was right. I wanted to buy my girlz a Wii, a long time ago. They saw the commercials and just HAD to have it. The Christmas season came that year and I didn't get it for them, and once the commercials faded away, so did the girlz desire to have it.

Luckily my sister bought it and they get to play it when they go to her house. And playing it there gives them their fill of it..

 

I have non teacher friends who dread the summer. Because they have to "deal" with their kids. I am not sure if it's because I am with other people's kids all year or what, but I just don't mind it. If I am home, I think it's natural to have my girlz with me. Maybe it's because I started late and then adopted. I always feel like I have a special, different kind of love for my girlz. I don't know, maybe every mom feels this way.

 

So as we count down the days, let's all keep our fingers crossed that my hundred year old AC makes it through another HOT Nova summer!!

 

 

 

 

 

Off Topic

Wondering why you block your blog? And then visit mine?

I would think you would be proud to be moving in with someone. I would think if you love this next guy enough to post it on Face Book, you would post it to the world on your blog?

But that is just me, I am an upfront kind of girl.

 

 

 



 







Camping Fun

I started this blog to share, and after leaving my other blog, I knew that this one would be about our family as a whole, and not just adoptive stuff. We don't have many adoption related issues in our family, so this blog serves as my scrapbook if you will. So going private on my blog made me realize that who ever is stalking me is sort of winning. Although I am not competitive, I am determined. And by that I mean, I will fight through what feels like a personal attack and not actually a professional one. I have contacted and have the support of the professionals established to help teachers when things like this happen, so I kind of feel like  I will not let fear take away my 1st Amendment right to express myself, whether I am a teacher or not. It's sort of ridiculous anyway. The person who complained about the blog was never really a friend, as much as they pretended to be, so in the grand scheme of things, I have to ask, "Who cares?"

So onto the good stuff...
I did the thing that I swore I would never do..


I   WENT    CAMPING  !!!

Actually, I didn't fully commit to it. We went day camping.
I had no idea how fun it would be, as I really don't think I am outdoorsy, but this was truly awesome.
The beauty in this area are the national parks. Growing up, we really didn't have many large parks like we have here. Well, there are the beaches but you get where I am going..
We got up and packed smore stuff, and drinks and snacks. It's very cool here so we got blankets and chairs. I went to the Dollar Store and got all sorts of nets and insect containers and we headed to Burke Lake. It was such a beautiful day. Cool enough for a light jacket, and the sun warmed the air just enough. The cicadas are here, but they stay near the ground, so no worries there..
Burke Lake has a train and carousel and tons of playgrounds dotted here and there. After we had ice cream and took a ride on the train with our group, we headed to our campsite.

 There were 3 families and we had packed our cars as if we were moving in forever. Our campsite was in a wooded area with a playground just a quick walk away.

Hippy Teacher brought her tent and the kids loved pretending to be a thousand miles from civilization. All the kids were loving it. We hung out and made hot dogs and grilled cheeses on the fire, and then had a Disco Party in the tent. Lilz was a riot. (another teacher's baby girl) She is growing up so much. Another family came by with their daughter, so our campsite was chock full of little ones. Rolling Thunder is in town, and I think we scared THEM with our glow stix and silly songs and games.

The dads took the kids to the playground, and that gave the moms a chance to catch up and chat..I miss our time of 3..Our conversations are so easy. Mainly because each of us know that our hearts are with our children. All of us can always find fun ways to share ideas from Pinterest and the web, and each of knows that we are doing our best to bring our "Happy Momma Love" into our class rooms..
The kids came back and we made Smores, and kicked up the Glow Stick action. It was awesome.
We hung out in the darkness, and enjoyed the beauty of the fire..Winding down around 10, we packed up and said Goodnight to our little family of friends. Of course Anna said, "this is the perfect day" at least 3 times. She is such a gr8ful child. And while she was taking care of the little ones, Auggie and I got in some quality hula-hoop time. AR showed no fears while we were camping. I though she might over worry about snakes or bug bites, but no..That tells me that she was feeling good...

















It was a most needed, perfect day!

Down Low

After last week's cosmic collision between my personal life and my professional life, I have decided very sadly, that for a while, I will be taking this blog private. I don't want to, and yet until I feel completely protected, I won't open it up.. If I end up leaving this blog, I may go back to my old one.. Who knows, I just know that if I have to end up "splainin' myself" again, like Lucy constantly did to Ricky, I will go

I am still in "talks" and dealing with this very blog at my job, and only put this here, So that my adoptive friends, friends from high school and on, and lovers of Russia will come on the down low with me.. It breaks my heart, but I am taking care of it on my end. As I said, I am not protected.

If you would like and invitation to my blog, I beg you to email me. I promise to invite you. (With the exception of my work stalker...)

BTW, My back is still raging. I go to the doctor on Wednesday. Pray for bucket loads of spinal blocks, and MRI results that mean something..I gotta say, this week, It ain't looking good..

AugustRose celebrated her 7th birthday this week. Gosh she is growing up so much. It seems like yesterday we were in Novosibirsk in the midst of a blizzard trying desperately to pack on short notice.
We were only in the region for a couple of days after court and headed to Moscow in a flash. August was stick thin, but tall as a beanpole. She was walking, but because none of her shoes fit, I carried her for most of the trip.
My mom, my sister, Anni, and myself stayed in an apartment in Moscow, and although there were several meltdowns by all of us on various days, we enjoyed pretending to live in the big city..

Our airport experience is always horrible in Moscow.
One piece of luggage was 3 or 4 pounds over, and the other piece was 10 or so pounds under. Yet they made me switch out items so that both items were weighted evenly.We hit the jackpot upon getting to our seats on the plane. The "stu" told my mom and sister to take the seats in front of our own. So we had our four seats in the middle and four more seats in front of that.
We were all suffering from a bit of jetlag so an hour or so after take-off, Mom and my sister spread out and went to sleep. I remember it being too warm on the plane, and both girlz were sweaty in their snow clothes. I got them stripped down and spread them out on our seats and we had the most glorious naps. It was the best flight. We got stuck in the airport in NYC. We ended up waiting there for almost 10 hours beyond what we were scheduled to wait. When we finally got on the plane it was one of those puddle jumpers. I had what I think was my first real panic attack. Leave it to my sister to have valium or xanex..I spent that whole flight with my head between my legs. There was just so little room, and we were the last onto the plane so we had to hold everything. Including August. (At that point she was young enough to fly in my lap)

Regardless of the details, my memories of Russia are blissful. I enjoyed life with my "Adoption-Colored" glasses on. My time in Russia was the highlight of my life.

And this week, my little one, my spunky child turned 7. She is just a silly willy mess and I love her more than my luggage.

 Poppy giving Auggie her birthday shirt! Very soon, we won't be going to get the yearly Gymboree shirt. My little one is growing so much!

Pre Birthday balloon and cake time. For the record, the balloon went outside and lasted all of 4 minutes. Glad I have this picture!

 

 

 

 

So the week ended with love in my heart for the gal I found in central Siberia. My soviet princess, my darling, my love, my angel, you have forever changed me. You have given this momma's heart a reason to beat a lil' bit harder. Happy Birthay Auggie Lee! Momma loves and adores you.